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I would be too. What happens, after the whole thing goes down, she comes home and beats you with a stick?

I guess I should be worried.

Funny!

How would you want someone else to tell you?
Direct and straight to the point is the quickest way to get there, the OM's W isn't your wife, stop worrying about her reaction. How she reacts to this info is her responsibility, not yours.

Love it!
Your wife is having an affair and yet you are worried about her reaction to you exposing the affair?

Nice to see who wears the pants in this family, give me a break.

She should be worried about your reaction and your plan after you expose the affair.

"You end all contact with the OM and commit 110% wholeheartedly to making this marriage great again or we are done, I'll speak to my lawyer get the process started and this is over. I've been staying home with the kids 24/7 and I'll have no problem getting full or joint custody as well as spousal support. You treat me like crap and a 2nd class citizen and I've had enough of this, how long did you think I was going to live like this? I'm worth better than this crap treatment and change begins today regardless if you want in or out of the marriage!"

LoveSickGuy ~ Why should you be worried? I don't understand that.
Greek

I was responding to Steve McQueen. Read his post. I was just joking! He asked if "she was going hit me with a stick or something?"

Gotcha.
Greek

so... what's the plan?
Put it on here, let us know what you plan of action is?
You can't just play this by ear.

Well, I have a plan but I need to put the peices together first before I disclose everything. She has been checking up on me, not that I care. I just do not want her to find out until I play it my way. Not being a "Wuzzy" guy, just being smart about it. The information on the OMW was not released because payment was not received yet. I do not want her to tell the OM and have him stop me from contacting his W first. He would probably change the number or something. I think I need to do this first and then put more boundaries in place after that. She is taking the kids to a work related event and does not want me to come, so I am not. I am pretty sure that he will be there. I did not want to fight anymore about in front of the kids.

They do know the reason that she does not want me to come because she told them. I was going to fight to the end, but I thought about what I read here, and it did not seem to be the thing to do. I did tell her that I will no longer tolerate her having an open marriage, and that there would be consequences and those will take place soon. I will cancel her text messaging on her phone since it is under my name and Password protect it so she cannot change it back. I will contact the OMW as soon as possible, and I have already done other things. I will do more and say more when the timing is right. I do not plan to back down. I have discussed this so much in the past because I am a talkative person, so now I try to say what I need and leave it that. I am trying the 180 approach which is basically not talking to her for me and not being nice. It is hard but necessary.

I know guys are going to probably put me through the wringer for the way I am doing it, but I will do my best.

I am pursuing a great job opportunity, and it is going good so far. I do have to compete with other applicants, but I will do the best I can. That is all I can do, right?

I need support because I certainly do not get that at home, and that is why I am here to do the best I can to be better and keep my family intact. With help from you guys I know I can do that. I have not given up, and I will not. I do not plan to continue the way it has been.

Keep the strong positive advice coming, please. I need that right now!

Thanks