Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis HELP THIS IS OUT OF MY LEAGUE READ THE EMAIL

It happened because I was feeling lonely, depressed, I guess, I was at a low point and he took interest and it made me feel good to be wanted and then it happened. I did like it - and it wasnt just once. Now i seem to not be able to get over it

ayk - Sounds like guilt is eating her alive. Definitely confused and needs help.

I believe everything happens for a reason and you responded because you saw a possibility to help someone. What you've learned from your own journey drew you to her because you recognized in her words a plea for help.

Can you get her to start posting here or it that not a possibility?

Way to pay it forward ayk!

AYK...

How long has she felt this way ?

I think she needs help, more so than being "fixed"

She needs someone to listen to her, to validate her. Where is her husband ?

This is a pretty fragile situation here AYK, and you need to use better judgement with this, and ...well..

How do YOU see this playing out ?

Look AYK....We here on the boards, we see things and post our advice based on our own experiences. Things we read from others.

Most of us have a degree in MLC from the school of hard knocks...

This woman needs some help that I think is out of most of our leagues...

I think that posting here may help her. IF.....that is what she wants.

This is a dangerous curve for you too AYK...

You haven't had female attention for a few months now..

And what makes that different for you.....

It is okay for you to be a friend...

Just be careful that you don't become the Pied Piper to the nut house...

I have talked to quite a few MLCers that have come through the tunnel...

It is fascinating to hear their stories....

Find a balance with you....

And yes, maybe encourage her to post some thoughts here...

AYK-

I agree with Mach totally. You are trying to be nice....but I feel that in your current state and hers....only bad things may come of this.

my $0.02

No,

I'm not going to do to someother family what's happened to us.

I even offered to be casually introduced to her husband and get him on here to.

No husband has no idea and not paying her any attention.

I gave her the number to 3 psychologists or counselors that I had talked to back when I was trying to stop my divorce.

All 3 of them know about mlc, 2 of them are women counselors that I gave her numbers to.

She emailed me today and asked what website I go to for support.

I wanted to hear from you all first before I told her, in her state of mind, she does not need to be questioned about how could you do this or that.

She doesn't want to meet me, because she is embarrassed.

SHE IS GUILTY FEELING AS HELL and she does love her husband.

I was and wasn't looking for female attention.

Female attention from a single, normal person, ok, but I am no where near wanting a relationship, I haven't taken my wedding band off and the next person I give myself to, I do want it to be somebody I can see myself with.

I also realized, I still need to fix myself.

And if anything getting too involved with her will impede my getting better.

Because I would be just like a mlc'er fixing someone else so don't have to work on myself.

I mean heck, I bought a motorcycle, a dirt bike, tried to buy a farm house, still anxious as heck, lonely, etc.

I need to get all my balance back, before I can be anywhere near healthy for someone else.

Shoot I still talk about my divorce and my wife, not bad mind you, keep defending her when it comes up.

When I quit having that strong feeling towards wife and stopping talking about the divorce,etc, then it might be time to look for a relationship.

So yes she would like to have support, do i give her this website or old pilot he sent me something too to forward her?

I was really thinking Amy C, Snodderly, HB would be somebody good for her here.

But she's after help, that's for sure.

I told her don't say anything about the fling to husband yet, keep it to her and a cnslr and of course me for now.

It's amazing she is almost like a little kid, but at least she's recognizing there is an issue with her mother and the anti depressants were covering up how she's feeling inside.

AYK


Maybe you can get her to call Michelle.

You can give her both sites but you know what they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

OP she wants to drink, she emailed me today wanting to know what website i go to for support,so she could get it for herself.

and like her email said that i posted, she knows she has a problem, just doesn't know how to release it, look how scared and guilty she is.

Have her check out these links.

They will connect her with women in the exact same situation and are in the same thought process she is right now. You'd be surprised how many women sound just like her.

http://womeninmlc.lefora.com/
http://www.pathpartners.com/ - Check out the forums