I am working with my mortgage company to get a modification so I can afford the house - neither of us could have sustained the previous mortgage terms alone. Its a long process and takes alot of paperwork - clearly this is much harder when It takes both of us - because we both are still on the mortgage - but we aren't working as a team anymore....
Today I got a call from the underwriter telling me that he needs copies of H's bank statements(his personal acct) in order to move forward with the process. I start freaking out internally... It scary when something you NEED relies on the cooperation of someone you don't TRUST! I thought about it and came up with a plan. I CALLED H thinking I would have to leave a message and.... He ANSWERED (first time that has happened)... I told him what was going on and asked if he would be willing to fax the docs directly to the processor so I wouldn't see them and ... He said he would.. I was shocked! I totally thought he wouldn't help me - I thought he would use this as a way to force me to sell, which is what he keeps threatening to do...
So he's going to help me (us really because he is still on the mortgage) and we chatted about his email last night but then I said "I have to go, I'm late for a meeting. Anything else we need to discuss will have to wait till another time" and hung up....
I stayed off the roller coaster and I don't feel the crazy emotions at all!!!
Really amazing thing... I didn't feel anything when I talked to him. Nothing... He sounded empty - not the man I loved - he sounded like a hollow human being.... It must really suck to live that life and be that way...
I'm getting the hang of this... FINALLY!
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
First job interview last week went GREAT! I totally nailed it. Second interview was yesterday - nailed that one too! I'm hoping... keep up the prayers... I need this! It would make my life so much easier in so many ways.
Been dealing more and more with H all week! He seems to think I'm willing to do whatever he wants now that he helped me with the house. He still hasn't gotten it through his head when I told him in the email that I was serious about how much money he/I needed to contribute to the joint bills. He just keeps saying he "expects" me to put in "my" amount based on his determination that I'm responsible for 1/2 our bills and the house payment/house utilities. I swear he dosen't listen to a damn thing I say/email. He actually called me on Tues night to ask me to check for a piece of mail that was very important. He still refuses to change his address to his brothers and not have everthing coming here. He's SO fricken out of touch with reality its not even funny... I don't understand how NONE of this can affect him after 6 f*ing months. Its like it was the day he left - he says "This is how I want it" and I'm expected to comply. SO not doing that anymore... I make decision for my life and my budget!!!
Been out a couple more times with this guy... not going to anymore. He's nice but the whole thing is just too weird and I'm not really into him on any level other than friends. I get the distinct impression he's into me for more than that! We were out last night together... and I got hit on by someone else right in front of him!!! I've NEVER had that happen.... HOLY CRAP. I looked hot.. new calf high leather boots... can't go wrong apparently!!
I've decided that I offically have TOO many balls in the air. I feel like nothing in my life is certain - I'm in the MIDDLE of soo many things! Dating, Divorce, House Renovations, Job change, Legal case from previous job... when will it all be DONE???????
The funny thing is... I'm really getting to a happy place.... all the chaos and me feeling the like the calm center...
I cannot wait until some things are more sure... I might actually have a chance to enjoy my life!!!
Ok - going downstairs to work out and get some dinner going... back to the plan now that I'm feeling better!!!
Hugs all!!
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
