Darn, I hate when you post and miss the previous three posts. Not I sound like I am grinding Lotus to the axe sorts speak. I would have left the Harley thing alone. Puppy does a way awesome better job anyhow.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Trent, you're missing his point. His point is, that the betrayal and the intensity of the pain and the damage is a direct result of the fact that your SPOUSE is someone who you love, trust, and who is supposed to have your best interests at heart. Surely you don't disagree that it hurts more when someone you LOVE (and who supposedly loves YOU) inflicts damage to you, rather than a stranger, acquaintance or extended family member?
Puppy, I think that entirely depends upon the nature of the damage inflicted. Once more , it is dependent on individual circumstances.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
He's not exaggerating as puppy already said, he is reporting what one of his clients TOLD HIM.
And I THINK the point he is making is that comparing infidelity to rape (the dispute as to which is more painful is moot) gets audience attention as to the level of pain that goes through someone who experiences either...
He further goes on to mention that while rape is a serious crime, there are NO LAWS against infidelity at all...
Again when a quote is put into context again it makes a LOT MORE SENSE...
Yes, thorough research is VERY IMPORTANT as some people fly off the handle or make snap judgements about people when research isn't thorough enough.
For the sake of our discussion here, I thought I'd put Harley's quote into context.
Also, as a point of clarification, Steven Harley is the SON of Dr. Willard Harley. As solid as his credentials are, I don't think he'd be considered the infidelity guru that his father is.
Anyway, here's the quote:
How to Survive Infidelity
The question I am most frequently asked by visitors to this web site is "how can I survive my spouse's affair?" After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once.
If someone sexually abused my children I am pretty sure that would come top of my list of worst experiences. I find that list a little hard to completely believe. I wonder if the answer differs depending on whether you are male or female?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I do agree with one of your main points of your original post in this thread, however. I do think we should give more weight to those giving advice who have SUCCESSFULLY dealt with infidelity, ended their spouses' affairs, and who are successfully healing their marriages.
Puppy
Guess I might as well not even post anymore then, huh?
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
He's not exaggerating as puppy already said, he is reporting what one of his clients TOLD HIM.
Yeah, Dr. Laura did that too, with her "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" book and lectures. She got similarly attacked, when all she was doing was reporting what her female callers were telling her -- that THEY were, in fact, happier when they applied these principles in their marriages.
I do agree with one of your main points of your original post in this thread, however. I do think we should give more weight to those giving advice who have SUCCESSFULLY dealt with infidelity, ended their spouses' affairs, and who are successfully healing their marriages.
Puppy
Guess I might as well not even post anymore then, huh?
I said "more," not "only." Everyone's views are valid, Drew. Don't be pouty, bro, it's very unattractive.
