I think you are getting great advice and knowing you the way that I do I KNOW that you will take it.
Be gentle with yourself. Take the time to think positive of your situation. You will now be closer to the kids. This NO ONE can take from you. Will you be a heart surgeon in the future. I bet you will because I believe in YOU - do you believe in YOU? Ah...that is the question buddy. You can do this... you can be the man and father that you want to be and then...and only then will she see the changes in YOU.
I still believe in my heart of hearts that you guys will reconcile. You know my sitch and you know battles - but you my friend can do this....yes you can..
For the record, I'm glad your getting the 2x4 instead of me (just kidding - this is a joke everyone!). Listen to the advice, think positive, review how you are looking at things and change it so that YOU can see the positives in each sitch. More often than not there is a positive but we need to sift through the muck to find it. There is ALWAYS a positive my friend ALWAYS. Heck ya never know you may be in charge of all surgery in the future. Ya never know...so don't limit yourself. You have made it this far and you WILL make it in the future. Ya know....everytime my D says "daddy...daddy...daddy" my heart jumps for joy - this NO ONE can take from me - not my W, not my job, not my other kids...no one.
God bless - and I'll talk to you later my friend.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I really do not think of marriage as who has the upper hand... this situation right now? it is not marriage.
when we were married-- for real-- I thought of us as equals. hell I always thought she was the best part of me-- which is what makes all of this so tough...
hell I always thought she was the best part of me--
Didn't show her though, didja?
Don't answer...you already did at 4:05 pm March 17,2010.
Neither did I am, that's why I ended up here, and why I'm sooo f-ing DB smart now. : )
You still are married by the way. Just not the way you wanted to be...you know Bradley, once you make the change and see the good...you'll never regret this time in hell.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
so when she said she was unsatisfied, what was your response, to listen? so when she has told you that she wants to go to counseling, do you listen or doubt her? when she tells you she doesn't believe the changes do you show her the changes are real or do you talk about the possibility of doing heart surgery and yada yada yada here instead of moving?
Bradley... something tells me you don't want to move you don't want to then don't don't turn this into a martyr situation where you go on to make your wife very aware of what sacrifices you have made.
you are married marriage is work
do the work
my job is in danger of being cut very real almost certain danger
I am a teacher...budget cuts suck and we live in an area that does not afford me a lot of opportunites.
Cori has his dream job the thought of moving has not entered our conversations
he would move in a heartbeat without question if I said I needed to
I would never ask to move because he has his dream job
I am a teacher I will be a teacher if I waitress, shovel sh!t, paint houses or teach....
he is much more important that if I write on my white board or teach Shakespeare to the masses...you know
when you start counting your wife as more important and her happiness as more important then you will know
and you can tell me that you are by moving and all that jazz but let me tell you I am not hearing it
I am hearing you don't want to move but you will because you have to I am hearing you feel like she is calling all the shots and you don't like it I hear you giving lip service to DB principles but I don't see you shutting up...which is also a DBing principle
does that make sense? to anyone? Jack (damn...I can't believe we are a united front...have I gotten soft or have you gotten b!tchy?)
