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{{{{{{{{Zoo}}}}}}}}}}

It'll be Tuesday soon and your brain will be logical again!

Yeah, it sort of sucks, but it is his responsibility to choose not to become involved in an A again and yours to live your life the way you want to be, because you are the only one you can control or be responsible for actions that are taken.

And you know if he chooses to throw all of this away after the hard work put in by both of you, that you will be ok and are going to have a wonderful live because you are going to choose for it to be the best that you can make it be.

So call me Pollyanna today! You are rubbing off on me.

HA....i dont think he would read it OPT It was amazing enough that he read the parts of DR that he did and I do think the infidelity section helped him. I think this is one of those things i will have to tackle on my ow and hope that time will tell

Hugz,
Zoo

My oh my Pam...perhaps we should start calling you Sage 2

You are right on the money lady and I tell myself that stuff all of the time but sometimes the telling isn't enough

I just gotta keep looking at this as one of the many demons i have to wrestle and hopefully I can put it behind me like I have some of the other stuff
Hugz,
Zoo

Hi Zoo,

I am glad you are ok, and didn't you tell me Tueday is the day your brain is logical? So on Tuesday you will get this all sorted out in your head!!!!

No, don't call me Sage 2, she is insightful all the time, I have to really WORK at it!

Just wanted to let all know that Yes, I am still on the face of the earth My posting has been sparse at best lately because my brain is in a tangle and I have been trying to sort it out.

R/M is still going well, the problem is mostly with myself and my constant struggle to not wander hopelessly down my "tunnels". My fears seem to want to cause me to tumble everytime I turn around. This is something I have to get a hold of!!

Hugz to all,
Zoo

Hugs back to you, Zoo...anything we can help with???

Shiny

{{{{{{{{ ZOO }}}}}}}

Yea ... what Shiny said ... You don't have to face your demons alone ... Who you gonna call? ... DBusters!

'til later,
KAW

Hi, Zoo, I hope things are looking better today. How did last night go?

{{{{{{}}}}}}

Thanks Shiny

I had a nice post going last night when my network crashed...lost the whole darn thing

I guess the problem is just me. Every time I think I finally have a hold on everything and I start to get comfortable with H and the way the R is going my brain taps me on the shoulder and says "uh,excuse me, but I think you forgot to include me in this sitch" and the next thing I know I'm getting sucked into a black hole.

I start remembering how things were this summer and then the first little phrase or action that H does that even remotely resembles some of his actions from then sends me scurrying frantically to "fix" stuff before it gets out of hand.

That means questions.
Moodiness.
Squirrely behaviour that tends to exasperate H and piss him off.

H told me last night that I was acting "shaky" again...seeing things that weren't there, reading too much into nothing...and he was getting tired of it He didn't say this angrily but you could hear the weariness in his voice as he assured me once again that everything was fine...great even.

I suppose it didnt help me any that H had to tell me that he talked to OW the other night I ended up voicing my displeasure over THAT (I try my best to remain neutral when OW comes into convo). It wasn't something I wanted to hear since H keeps telling me that he DOESN'T talk to OW and avoids her as much as possible. H said it was hard to avoid her in a meeting since they both HAVE to be there...and she asked about a house that burned up down the road from us. To H it was an innocuous convo...to me, well, I just got this picture of them standing cozily in the corner having an intimate conversation that excluded everyone else in the room:( Over-active imagination? You bet!

I AM MY OWN WORSE ENEMY

It saddens me that I let one little negative push aside all of the BIG postives that I experience with h on almost a daily basis.

For the first time in in our R H told me that I am the love of his life.

H wears his wedding ring nearly all of the time now and will ask me to get it for him if he has taken it off for some reason and forgotten to put it back on. He has not left the house without it on for almost 3 weeks now.

H's spontaneous ILY's have been frequent this week and are often qualified with phrases like very much or more than anything as well as being accompanied by a hug, kiss or caress.

Since H installed our wireless network we are actually spending MORE time interacting with one another. Instead of H going upstairs and spending the whole night on the main comp (with me feeling like I'm intruding if I go up there) he now stays downstairs with me and is only on the laptop occasionally. We also are using the comp to play games and stuff with each other which has been rather fun (I am now hooked on mahjongg).

H installed IM at work so that he can talk to me when he is bored or needs to ask me something etc. I do have mixed feelings about this though. H seems to be going out of his way to let me know WHAT he is doing at work (away messages on IM will say "in meeting, away from desk, having a smoke" etc) and I dont want him to think that is necessary. I often feel like I might be bothering him if I IM him. Then there is the whole wondering WHO he might be chatting with besides me The best way I have found to deal with things so far is to basically let H IM me first or bother him ONLY if I have an errand that needs to be ran or a mundane question. H has assured me that I am not abusing the IM in any way nor am I bothering him so far.

This is about all my bogged down brain can decipher so far.

Hugz to all,
Zoo

You know what? If I hadn't already overtaxed my brain taking a 2x4 to Karen and a tad to Sage today, you would be in big trouble birdsong!!!!


You know on that DB thread where Sage and I listed ASSumptions about ourselfves, our H's and our marriages.

Maybe that would be a good exercise for you as well. Then you would have it all in writting to review as you needed it?

Just a thought!!!

Besides I'm GOING OUT TO DINNER Shortly!

So I can't be too responsible for my thoughts as I have normally eaten dinner and taken my Zoloft by now!