I am trying to do the go dark thing.... not working yet. Will be ordering my books tonight.
W has been distant. Yesterday she took her PA to our nieces birthday party. Niece is 5 yrs old. I have been there since she was born....PISSED ME OFF!
I decided since W's fam did not invite me, I would show up anyway. Don't I have the right... but then decided that I prob could not handle seeing W & PA together. I do not even know if fam knows what is going on.. she refers to PA and alumni friend from college. But fam does know we are separated.
I deecided to get my niece some really cools birthay stuff. Went way over board on the $$$. I dropped the gifts off at the fun center and left prior to the party.
NC was only 30 hours old before I slipped. She called a bit ago and I answered the phone with out checking caller ID. But it was a good conversation.
Hello, oh it's you honey.... what can I do for you? I asked.
She just called to Thank me for sending such wonderful gifts to her niece. I said you are very welcome, but Thanks is not neccessay, she is still my niece also. She ask what I was doing and I told her, just got in from a quick jog around the neighborhood. She's like "you jog now", yeah.... when I feel the need. What I did not tell her was that the dog got off the leash and he ran me all over the place trying to catch him.... hee hee.
But we talked about all kinds of junk, but not about us. She was laughing and carring on... long time since we laughed together. She asked what we (son and I) were doing for dinner. I told her I was cooking her favorite dish. She said she was busy this evening and could not come over. I responded, that fine, I did not invite you. Have fun with your busy!!!! and hung up the phone.
I will start NC again right now....
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
Your going to have set the record straight on who Alumni friend is from college. You are also going to have to set boundaries on his interaction with your son. Personally I would set it to zero.
Next time she calls. Do not call her Honey. Do not tell her what your doing in your life. Do not ask what she is doing.
That conversation should have went like this.
Hi. Thankyou. Was out and about jogging. Gotta run. Click.
Son is doing better job than I. He has NC with W at all. Son is 18.
W & I do not have children of our own. Son came into our lives @ age 3. Great Kid. Lives home w/ me. Son in college. Wants to a doctor. Psychiatrist of all things. This should help.
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
Your going to have set the record straight on who Alumni friend is from college. You are also going to have to set boundaries on his interaction with your son. Personally I would set it to zero.
Next time she calls. Do not call her Honey. Do not tell her what your doing in your life. Do not ask what she is doing.
That conversation should have went like this.
Hi. Thankyou. Was out and about jogging. Gotta run. Click.
This. ^
Don't let her treat you like her gay boyfriend (not that there's anything WRONG with that . . . )
I am trying to do the go dark thing.... not working yet. Will be ordering my books tonight.
W has been distant. Yesterday she took her PA to our nieces birthday party. Niece is 5 yrs old. I have been there since she was born....PISSED ME OFF!
I decided since W's fam did not invite me, I would show up anyway. Don't I have the right... but then decided that I prob could not handle seeing W & PA together. I do not even know if fam knows what is going on.. she refers to PA and alumni friend from college. But fam does know we are separated.
I deecided to get my niece some really cools birthay stuff. Went way over board on the $$$. I dropped the gifts off at the fun center and left prior to the party.
NC was only 30 hours old before I slipped. She called a bit ago and I answered the phone with out checking caller ID. But it was a good conversation.
Hello, oh it's you honey.... what can I do for you? I asked.
She just called to Thank me for sending such wonderful gifts to her niece. I said you are very welcome, but Thanks is not neccessay, she is still my niece also. She ask what I was doing and I told her, just got in from a quick jog around the neighborhood. She's like "you jog now", yeah.... when I feel the need. What I did not tell her was that the dog got off the leash and he ran me all over the place trying to catch him.... hee hee.
But we talked about all kinds of junk, but not about us. She was laughing and carring on... long time since we laughed together. She asked what we (son and I) were doing for dinner. I told her I was cooking her favorite dish. She said she was busy this evening and could not come over. I responded, that fine, I did not invite you. Have fun with your busy!!!! and hung up the phone.
I will start NC again right now....
the "nice guy" approach doesn't work, especially if your wife is having an affair. it calls for tough love. Have you read up on boundaries yet?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks! I will try. BTW... is there anything I can do that will speed up busting up W's A. Without looking like the bad guy.... I want to break up A quickly (as we all do) but do not want to push her further into OM's arms.
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
)
(((((HURL!)))))