She is with another man, and you want her. You are alone, she doesn't want you. You are the backup plan just in case things don't work out with the "loser" boyfriend. She knows you aren't going anywhere, she enjoys her little chats with you because it makes her feel good to know that you're still waiting around for her, you boost her ego this way.
This needs to be framed and passed out to all who enter this board...
Serenity I do have an opening for a personal cheerleader on my team, I let you know when tryouts are ;-)
I think you are right that I have to just continue communication without pursuit and remain confidant and attractive to her. I might consider some subtle romantic gestures, if the opportunity arises.
I guess I just have to be patient. I am speaking with a relationship coach and she says that the loser boyfriend relationship is doomed and can't work anyway, for reasons that I listed previously.
Thanks, Reggie
Would a confident and attractive man sit at home and wait for his wife to end her relationship with her "loser" boyfriend or would a confident and attractive man move on because he knows that there are plenty of fish in the sea?
Still a little scared of you so I may miss the tryouts
However in this instance...Your words were absolutely what every one here needs to read...I wish I would have gotten this through my head so very long ago.
Think about this - Everyone really needs to think about this little sentence that someone told me oh so long ago -
"Never let someone be your priority when you are just their option"
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
"Observe reality, follow reality: what you're doing isn't working."
"Never let someone be your priority when you are just their option"
Wow, this is really an eye opener. Thanks for your blunt honesty everyone.
And robx, I have been seeing other woman. As a matter of fact, I got laid last weekend. We are "friends" though. It was good, but I still miss my wife and don't want to let go. We both love each other a lot and miss each other, and after the long time that we have been apart, I think that something can be said for that.
However, back to the quotes I re-posted. Yes, what I'm doing is obviously not working, so I should do something else and yes, she is my priority when I'm just her option.
I have a solution for this. There is a beautiful, smart, successful, and great woman who wants to fly over to visit me for Easter. I told her no, because I'm afraid that all of a sudden my priority is going to change her mind, leave her "loser" boyfriend and come back to me. Then I'll have to tell this girl she can't come thereby severely hurting her feelings. Stupid eh?
I think the general sentiment here would be to invite this woman to visit me, make her the priority and the wife the option. If my wife somehow changes her mind and decides to come back, I would have to tell her to hold on, because I have a visitor.
The reason this is hard for me to do, is because sometimes it seems that we are so close to getting back together and I think taking an action like this could jeopardize that possibility. But I guess I can't wait forever.
You can't have it both ways IMHO...Robx said see other woman not bang other women...I see this as playing with fire with your wife, the other women and most of all yourself.
If you want to get laid every weekend, cut ties and be released from your marital vows...
If you don't want to give up, then keep it in your pants and work on ways to make yourself the better man.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Serenity, It's been a while and I'm starving for affection. I can't go without sex forever! And she is probably having sex all the time.
As a matter of fact, when we first split, I was under the impression that you are not supposed to have sex during separation. I thought it is supposed to give you time to think and if you want to have sex, then yes, get divorced. So, after several months we did get back together, however, she then told me that she slept with someone. I was so upset that I could not talk to her or look at her for months, so here we are again.
If she followed the rules then we would not be in this predicament.
