I see some of your point Kim but since you started this thread, I'll ask you, what's the point of people getting married then? Just for financial purposes with some sex and shared eating experiences thrown in the mix?
Are wants & needs bad?
Human nature dictates that we want what we don't have. We either acknowledge this and deal with it or deal with the problems associated with not acknowledging this.
Is wanting something bad?
If you want something from your spouse and they're unwilling to give it to you, do you just stop wanting it? Do you keep asking for it 1000 times until the spouse finally agrees to give it?
Example: if a spouse wants alot of regular sex and the other spouse is too tired and not interested in sex anymore, isn't this a need or a want that is going unmet? Does this need or want go away?
Hi all, interesting discussion. Thought I'd throw my hat into the ring.
From what I've learned in the last few months, an emotional 'need' is just like an emotional boundary. It's a requirement of how you expect people to treat you. You should be able to expect people to treat you with respect, integrity and love.
For example, as I grew up I was 'taught' that I had no right to have boundaries - emotional, mental or physical. That I was required to suppress any of my 'needs' to be cared for, listened to, or supported. Bad situation; won't get into it here. The important thing is that as I became an adult, it made me unable to ask people for any of those things, because I didn't feel a right to receive them.
This has caused huge problems in my marriage and in my relationships with others. People treat you the way you ask to be treated. And just as important, you'll treat yourself the same way you ask others to treat you. If you don't have and express your needs, how can you ever treat yourself (and ask others to) the way you ever deserve to be treated?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
