Been breaking the rules. Time to start a new thread.
Speaking of breaking the rules, I broke the no contact rule I set two weeks ago. I'm glad I did. W was very happy to hear from me - she said this about three times. We talked for 10-15 minutes. Nice little conversation.
She was actually on her way to sign the separation agreement. Guess I'll be making a trip to my L office Monday. I'm ok.
Been researching GeoCaching. Going to take the kids out and find some stuff this weekend. Should be fun.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Well this is interesting. W just called. Said she is not signing separation papers. I thought this was good but its not that she doesn't want a D. Now she is saying she needs financial support. Go figure.
She was at her best in trying to trigger me. Said she forgot I was filing it as a LS. Said my L was not returning phone calls, was sloppy, etc. I think most of this is coming from her L. She kept throwing out the bait and I wouldn't bite. I did say my L and I had our paperwork done last Friday - not sure what happened between then and now.
I was very calm and controlled in my response. Said I was sorry she was having problems financially but there was nothing I can do about it. Said I was disappointed that we couldn't move forward and I was hoping the separation would be done before the deadline (Monday). Said I really didn't want to have to re-file.
Something became vary obvious during our conversation. I have grown in so many areas. One of the big ones is financially. I've been working like a mad man to get myself out of dept, fix my credit and to be responsible for myself. I've made huge progress in this area.
What is also obvious is she has done nothing to improve herself. She is putting all her eggs on being D as the solution to her unhappiness. She is still using me as an excuse for not moving forward in constructive ways.
I feel really good about how I handle today's situation. Proud of myself. Couple times there were points that I wanted to scream at her something like this is what happens when you split a family apart. Or maybe you should spend less time in hotels and more time at the library. But I didn't and I'm glad cause I was in control of myself. Good place to be!
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Something became vary obvious during our conversation. I have grown in so many areas. One of the big ones is financially. I've been working like a mad man to get myself out of dept, fix my credit and to be responsible for myself. I've made huge progress in this area.
What is also obvious is she has done nothing to improve herself. She is putting all her eggs on being D as the solution to her unhappiness. She is still using me as an excuse for not moving forward in constructive ways.
Good job in not taking the bait. I think my W is starting to feel the consequences of her decisions financially.
Months ago I thought that would be the key to bringing the family back together.
Now, I wouldn't go back because of money.
What specifically have you done to improve the financial picture. I'm always looking for tips.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Think the financial stuff is the first crack in the fantasy. The funny things is I offered my W the same opportunities and resources I've used to grow. Books, classes, audio books, etc. and she turned them all down or didn't follow up. As a result she's in the same spot she was a year, two years, etc.
Last thing I offered her was a paid for dave ramesy class. Her response "I can't understand any of that financial stuff. Its to complicated." sigh.
If you haven't looked into FPU do that. Its simple straight forward common sense financial management.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
I've been checking into it too.. Unfortunately I still have too much snow where I am to give it a shot yet..
Let us know how it goes!
Did some GeoCaching with the kids this weekend. They really enjoyed it. We found a cache about a mile from our house and then looked another one at a park that we couldn't find. The got to play in the park though so not a total loss.
The kept thinking that cache meant money. They were thinking the could make money off from this:-). They are all about money now as they are working for commissions by doing chores around the house. We are really starting to become a family again.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Well I have in my possession a signed and notarized copy of a marital settlement and separation agreement. Not sure if this is all I need to submit to the court or not.
This is somewhat surreal but I can handle it.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
