I'm so confused... I've missed the inside joke....
Mindfull - You ROCK! Way to take control of everything. We will be here for you - this is a GOOD thing! Either way you are such a strong, together person.
(((Mind)))
T
Last edited by talia; 03/04/1003:00 PM.
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
hey there! I'm excited for you to make the move to have the "discussion" if it was something you were always doing, that would be bad, but you haven't R talked in a long time, so time to make some changes! just remember to keep your expectations at zero, and you might be surprised at what you get back
it might be good to use us to role play first though.
oh, and about the new friends you have...why not open up a bit to her, it could help her feel that she is not alone, and you can show her some things that could help her sitch. There are SOOOO many people going thru this, and people have no idea.
my friend from here that I mentioned a few weeks ago, she has already talked to several women and men (she talks a lot lol) and have found at least 5 couples going thru the same things that happen before the bombs!! her chiro, 2 good friends, a daycare kids parents, it's crazy. it's everywhere. but what is so cool is that she feels this is a calling for her too now to share what she has learned so others don't have to go what she is going thru.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
haha C bug! I would love to hear mindfull's "name"!
By the way, MF, I like S.T.'s suggestion of talking to that friend IF YOU CAN TRUST that she won't blab to someone else.
Also, brainstorming here or trying out your ideas of how to bring up the discussion and respond to him might help you, too! I am nervous and excited for you!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
OK Everyone - call to help - Pearl has mentioned this a couple times and Its finally getting to me. My friend TryTryAgain has been getting bad DBing advice for a while and I've been posting to counter -
Everyone get on TTA's thread and provide GOOD DBing advice - this person needs to see what DB is really about!!
TTA - You have been doing a good job of taking the few nuggets out of that advice and then discarding the rest. I am NOT trying to be horrible on here - but this is getting ridiculous. His advice is NOT DB - its important that people on here get the support this board is MEANT to offer. Mind reading, catering to your WAS, giving in, denying your feelings, and doing what you think your spouse would want based on what you think they are thinking is NOT DB. Thank you for posting as you have been lately - I don't think I'm the end all be all for advice, but I know bad advice when I see it. I'm hoping this call will get others posting for you so you can see that there is consistency in what I'm recommending.
Lets support each other the RIGHT way! T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
I knew you'd be supportive, as you've been "with" me a long time. And, you, of anyone, knows how long I've zipped my lip! (amazing that it could be done!)
I'll share w/you, and maybe everyone here, a plan that G and I are formulating, that's my best shot at being effective, yet within my comfort zone of delivering. And, I look forward to your input!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Well, I am having a good day. Had a chat w/a good friend. Went on a 45 min brisk walk w/the doggie, and now, my BFF's little boy is here watching TV and having a nap while she's at the Dr. He's so cute. He just asked me if it's possible that I could squeeze him to death! LoL He's just darling!
Tonight is a girls night out, w/about six friends. My BFF is picking me up on the way. Yea! Love it when I don't have to drive! Now, what to wear...
I'm really progressing in my self-confidence, planning, and desire to execute. And, fortunately or not, am beginning to accept the success or fall-out.
Thanks for asking!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Now, what to wear...