Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

I was wondering about the process of coming back to reality. Using myself as an example. Even though I wouldn't classify my previous state as MLC, not even really depressed, but lets just say I was lost. The only thing that allowed me to grow was the desperation of my family being shatter. Is that the same for a some who is in a MLC.

Not necessarily the family thing as many MLC see that as a reason for their unhappiness. But do they have to go through a life changing event to change.

Bottom for an MLCer is just that.....

THEIR bottom...

You may never know what that is.

It could be something as simple as spilling their milk on the floor.

Part of the no expectations means just that....none.

MLC is very induvidual to each that has to go through it.

Understanding the role of the LBS is all we CAN do for that.

One thing for sure.....NOTHING we do will help them hit that bottom.....




OP......Never hit bottom ? OR hit bottom and CHOSE to not drift toward land ?

There is a difference......

No I would say never hit bottom! She has been in jail, mental institutions, she knows that she is bipolar and needs to take her meds but for some reason she can't do it. I guess from my point of view, bottom for her will be a pine box, but at that point she won't be recovering.

I think Bi-polar is pretty much for the rest of their life, right Pilot?

MLC is temporary, even if you can count it in years.

Good point Jack

I think in my W's case she was WAW and then when I kicked her out, packing her bags and throwing them out the front door was the event that triggered the full blown MLC. That was Aug 25 2009 I don't blame myself but it was a major event.

I think my wife hit bottom shortly after in November with the hospital stay? on November 20, 2009. Do you think that someone can move that fast in an MLC. I by no means think that her MLC is a short term thing but I think she is pretty fluid between stages at this point.

Many things are possible, some of them can be highly unlikely some can be dead certainties.

Could it?

Yeah.

Experience around here says otherwise.

Rock-bottom is for them to be determined by them...not us. Looking back? I still do not know for certain what truely caused it, what the ONE thing was.

It never seems to be what we think it is or will be though.

PS3 is/was the system of choice. Haven't picked the controller back up since the bomb. There were nights I was sitting on the couch playing Warhawk and she was at the kitchen table "chating" oline with OM#1.

Sucks b/c I really enjoyed playing. S9 is into Modern Warfare COD series.

M

Resources also say once started, a person has to complete the whole journey through their transition to second adulthood. Something might interrupt that or delay it. Then it returns with a vengence. This might take a lot longer than you have expected, or vanish in a moment. Each is different.

In City of Heroes I was a Mind Controller / Empathy super hero god.

I was one of the first in that class to reach level 50. I was sought out to join teams taking on the hardest MOB bosses...

And this means very little to almost everyone here.

And it still fills me with a perverse sense of pride.

Since THAT right there was one of the cornerstones of my failing marriage.

We all have different accounts of a story, and the straw that broke her back, when she was DONE trying, was when she dressed up to go to a club, dressed to the nines, wanting me to go out with her and have a 'great' time there and afterward, and I didn't even do much more than look over at her and tell her to have a good night with my friend to look out for her. My friend who became the OM later that night.

My side of the story, doesn't differ too much from hers.

I was an idiot.