Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives The journey begins

Mishka, they had a window of time before they sent the payment back as insufficient funds. So I authorized them transferring the money out of the account she uses -- not the joint I still use.

In the end, it impacts her not me. That's $85 she's probably assuming is in her account that is now not there.

I'm going to email her to tell her what happened so she doesn't overdraw the account and blame me.

She keeps falling farther and farther behind. Now I know she blames me because I'm not jumping in and helping with the house. Hellooooooo W, you kicked me out of it, remember.

What's going to happen is that everything will fall on the girls and she'll end up trying to make me look like the bad guy. You know, the comments "I can't afford to send you to that camp because your father isn't helping on >>>>>."

My running race second job starts in two weeks so I'm going to be OK. Overall, I'm going to be OK. I try to remember that, but I keep letting my mind wander.

Tough day and it really shouldn't be.

Try not to let W get to you. Like you have said, be the you, you want to be. If she wants to be rude and blame you, the girls will see through it. They might also blame you for a while, but they will see the truth and they will appreciate more that you don't talk bad about their mom and don't blame her, at least to them. Be the you, you want to be, and you will be happy and things will work out. Financially you are doing ok so just keep on keeping on, and keep to your goals because they are great.

I played basketball tonight but my mind wasn't in it.

I got home and decided to do some research on Illinois divorce law.

Wow. There's a long way to go. I was a little encouraged on a couple of things. The wishes of the girls will be taken into account when deciding custody.

That's going to be important if it gets to that point because D11 has said all along she wants to live with me. I don't want sole custody. That would crush W. I want 50/50. I deserve nothing less so I just have to stand my ground and not be bullied.

I'm trying to quiet my brain by paring down the possibilities. I will sign off on no agreements where it isn't joint physical custody. I'll see that through no matter the cost.

The rest will take care of itself.

GOOD! That is exactly the attitude to have. You kept saying in the past that your county doesn't do that. Dad's get visitation and that's it. I'm glad to see that you are not dwelling on that and are going to fight for your rights with your girls. They need you. They need a strong male role model in their lives so that they know how to expect to be treated as women. Good for you!

Fight the fight CTH!

Had to sit through a two-hour seminar on real estate trends. It turned out better than I thought. The guy was entertaining and he'd done his research. He has the numbers to back up his opinions.

This year is going to be the year of the short-sale. Banks are tired of foreclosing on houses and are going to be much more willing to take offers below what is owed just to keep inventories from growing.

I was sitting there thinking that if W is smart she'll just put the house on the market and take the loss. I kept wondering how this is going to be handled in the D.

So I was down because again none of this makes sense -- but I'm having it beaten into me that rational thinking counts for nothing.

Then I tried to flip my thinking. Today also was my first monthly investment into a single stock account. No more joint accounts with W -- except for the last bank one.

In two years -- just 24 months -- I'll have enough for a house down payment.

The housing market, according to this speaker, is likely to hit bottom in mid 2011 so if I'm smart I may even be able to buy then.

That's something to look forward to. I'm heading up again.

Try not to let it get to that.

I'm afraid it will have to, Drew. I think custody is going to be the line in the sand.

Have you taken the Parenting Class yet?

Don't make your girls choose.

I have not taken the parenting class yet. I haven't even seen her "wish list" yet.

They already stay with me five nights out of 14. I asked W to also have them on Thursdays. That'd be an even 50/50 split.

I'm not going to back down on 50/50.

I'd advise you to go ahead and get that parenting class done, especially if she hasn't done it yet. It may speak to the Court, if it comes to that, that you've already completed it.