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LolaL Offline OP
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Snicker...I did feel guilty too...starting thinking that there was snow in El Paso and what if his car slid off the side of the road...and then I snapped back to consciousness and though OMG I cannot BELIEVE I was just envisioning that...

Michelle, remember, babies are really cute. And then they learn to talk. wink There are upsides and downsides to all of it. I like the idea of adopting, but not from Malawi okay? One Angelina/Madonna/Meg Ryan...okay well I realize it is tres chic, but ... yeah. 'nuff said.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Oh don't get me wrong. I would so consider adoption. RB would too, he loves hanging out with his nieces and nephews (who range in age from 6 to 18 since he has 2 older sisters). I just feel like all the plans XH and I had made to finish school, buy a house, and then have kids just got tossed out in the garbage without my agreement.

Besides, if I need a baby fix (or a reminded of how nice it can be to not have kids), I can go visit my brother (his kids are 9, 7, and 2 mo grin).

Our subconscious does do some twisted things to us sometimes lol. But it's a reaction to the pain, doesn't mean we are bad people or really want that.


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09
http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
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LolaL Offline OP
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I know. I just couldn't believe I was actually thinking that!

It is amazing how we all had this plans, and in one moment everything changed. The SG and I used to say when we retired, we were going to buy an RV and just travel. We would keep the house as a kind of homestead, and just have one cell phone that never got turned on. We were just going to drive all across the country, as far as we could go.

And then I think back, and wonder how much of it really was a lie.

But I don't lament a lot, I think maybe a little more this week because I am on edge about whether he will actually follow through or whether he will come up with another excuse on why he couldn't make it. Remember, the boss said it "should" not be a problem.

And here is another question...I have my profile up on a few dating sites. Most of you know what I look like. DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO DATE A SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN??? ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH...

I almost feel violated everytime I get one of them winking at me!!! LMAO!!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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I feel the same Michelle, all my friends are starting to have kids and I'm the youngest divorcee. Luckily I am not in any way broody yet.

I had the same thoughts about death vs. separation/ broken heart and hurt.

Quote:
Our subconscious does do some twisted things to us sometimes lol. But it's a reaction to the pain, doesn't mean we are bad people or really want that.

This encapsulates so well Michelle

Last edited by JCJ; 02/24/10 10:18 PM.

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LOL......what's funny is I've had that happen to me a few times also....date a 70 yr old man. No disrespect to anyone of that age.


Me: 31
H: 30
Son 2.5

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LolaL Offline OP
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None whatsoever, but seriously? Really? And the onese who seem to send me the "wink" are the ones who look like they have one foot in the grave.

LOL, I expect to see an oxygen tank hooked up to them in the picture...


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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ROTFLMAO!!!!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Just get on the life insurance policy.... wink


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
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http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
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The funny thing is I keep thinking that I just need to find an old geezer who is blind and loaded. Perfect situation for me as long as I am the sole beneficiary of all his life insurance and his will!!! LOL! Oh, how mercenary of me!!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Posts: 4,715
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LolaL Offline OP
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I just can't. I keep thinking of Anna Nicole Smith and that old guy she was married to. And that movie Big Daddy, "guy with saggy skin and old balls..."

The guy I tried dating was 51. He was too old. Of course, you know me, I like 'em younger anyway. Less complications at this point in my life. It's not like they are looking for a relationship wink Just a little sumpin' sumpin'


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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