I like this thread, and glad to see it. I agree that like most everything else that is unpredictable about the MLC'er, and especially since they have no concept of time, putting a "real" time-line together would be impossible.
As for my sitch, I've spent somet time wondering when my H's MLC actually began. I list the bomb date on my signature as 8/15/06 - the date I accused my H of having an A---which he quickly denied. I then spent a year and a half blaming the quickly declining state of our marriage on the fact that I accused my H of something HE would never do. I suspect at that point it was an EA, but will never know for sure----and it doesn't really matter because I know it advanced to a PA at some point. I didn't get the ILYBINILWY comment until much later --- probably January of '08. How long has my H been in MLC? I don't know. Has it already been 3.5 years, or has it been longer than that???? Less than that??? It doesn't REALLY matter. He will either come out of it or he won't. He will either go through with the divorce that he says he so desperately wants, or he won't. That is out of my control. There is only ONE thing that I can control----and that is ME (and I often fail with that one).
I will always wonder if things would be different if I would have "gotten it" sooner. But I am beginning to believe (as many have tried to drive it home to me) that this is more about my journey....and I'm slow.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
But I am beginning to believe (as many have tried to drive it home to me) that this is more about my journey....and I'm slow.
It really is.....
Success does not have anything to do with the hardware on you left hand....
Success is you being able to lay your head on the pillow at night, and know that you were the best you could be that day, and you did it with Dignity, Honor , and Grace........
You will survive this storm as a new person, that is capable of living for you, and if you are in a relationship,then that is a bonus....
Cat - I agree with you...true love never dies..it never fails. The dynamics of the R can change and in most will change but the love (if unconditional) will not.
HB - very inspiring...very....
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
