Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Pls help--confused and fearful

Going to keep giving those kind nudges as well . DbD standing on her two feet , inner strength to carry her through. Taking care of her children and getting her education done is a very good thing. As I have said many times. Be proud of what your overcoming. Keep working hard. Keep healing. Keep moving forward. Doing all these things for yourself is a good thing. I am proud of you and will continue to support you.

Good on You DBD.

It's good you realize that H isn't the same person you married and had a family with, but then neither are YOU.

Can't remember who I picked this quote up from, but it seems to fit you.

"When you walk through hell, keep walking..."

You've walked thru Hell and are coming out the other side a way different and stronger person.

Of all the sitch's I've read here over the last few months, you remind me of a beautiful butterfly emerging into the world from it's cocoon.

You are strong, you are a great mother and you are a great person. You should be extremely proud of yourself.

(((DBD)))

You are going to do better than survive- YOU WILL THRIVE!
I am inspired by your strength. (((DbD)))

DbD, I haven't checked in with you for a while. Been catching up on what is happening. Just want to echo what everybody else said - you're there. You've come so far now. I remember when you were responding to every text message or email from H and we were all shouting 'Noooooo' but you couldn't help it. Look at you now! You have the control. You have the handle on all of this. H has no chance now. He's lost any hold or control over you.



I know we all pretty much agree that your H is a total a$$ but I think he is angry still through guilt. He's hurting. He knows what he's doing but the only way to stop the hurt and guilt, for him, is to remove the source of that hurt and guilt - you and the kids. Guilt is a very powerful emotion. It makes sane people do very insane things to alleviate it. Problem is, you can't alleviate guilt by removing the source of it - you need to confront it. H may or may not realise that one day - he needs to confront what he has done.

Should we feel sorry for him? Absolutely not. But I think all his actions are based on hurt and guilt so we should understand it.

I've never forgotten this phrase I read in a book called Tuesdays With Morrie ... 'people are mean when they are threatened'. I think it's very apt for your H.

You've won DbD. War is over. All you have left is the clearup battles. Those little skirmishes where the enemy tries to save some face. But you've still won. You've won the war over DbD's future. A future without H. A future that I have no doubt will be a good one.

Just my 2p worth.

Yes you are going to survive. And you are so incredibly young and you have lots of live let in front of you. And your children love you.
Any you know what. Your ex- he is still going to be miserable. And now with you no longer to blame (oh but he will still try)- that evil venom is going to turn on himself and the OW. IT will be a nice slow downhill ride. While you, lighted by no longer having him will go up,up,up.
The man really is a lead weight.

I know we are not supposed to be vengeful but I have to admit- I smirk some with this.

Who knows maybe someday he will get himself together. Point is you waited long enough and you can't wait for remote "maybes" or "what if's"


Please post someday in the future and let people know how you survived it all and are doing better. IMO, I think it will help people..


Best!!!

Been a while since I've posted and here's my update...

(Very)STBX and I have been going through the collaborative divorce process and will soon be signing our divorce agreement by early August. It's been extremely hard going through this process as STBX has been so controlling and we hadn't spoken in 6 months. I started off nervous and afraid of him, but with each meeting I got stronger and started seeing what I was really "losing". Yes June, he is a lead weight and I will be happy to be free of this soul-sick, controlling person. I no longer wonder maybe or what if.

I am much stronger now. I am not only surviving, I am thriving. I am healing. I am growing. I am moving on to a new and better life.

I am so grateful for all the support I received here from others and for the experiences others have shared as well. I learned so much and I wish you all the very best. Thank you.

Hi guys --

Please start a new thread. This thread is getting a bit too long, so I'm locking it. Shorter threads improve the speed and flow of this online community.

Thanks.