Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers First meeting w/ WAW, I'm shaky need encouragement

Her, her, her! Let her sit in her pain and don't go into rescue mode.

This is typical script. She would NOT have respected you more, she would have looked for something else to pick on.

These WAWs are extremely self-absorbed.

This is a VERY hard lessson for a newbie, and SOOO opposite of how I usually am, I may definitely PM you before our next talk (next Tue.) She wants to discuss "Next Steps Pt. 2" (when am I leaving, what do we do with the house and splitting things. Guh. Seems like she's moving so fast.

OM from two years ago is not in the picture right now but I'm sure she'll be running to him when I'm gone.

Hey Sweet Cyborg:



http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17787

You are NOT obliged to tell her any of your plans. She lost that right when she started banging OM.

Do not be defensive. Be vague and stop listening to her. She is not calling all the shots anymore.

Aaargh, this is so confusing. I am following the steps and WILL move on with my life (and probably back to NYC), but, I think that first chapter is SO good, and wish I could share w/ my in-laws, WAS, etc., but I know that's not part of the 'program'

Towards GAL, I went to a meditation class tonight, not really my thing, but it helped w/ the anxiety and obsessive thinking. I looked up more jobs in NYC without making a final plan. Tonight I made myself a nice dinner (pierogie w/ grilled onions), and I am learning to value myself in or out of a marriage.

I feel like I was always waiting for her to change, but that I too needed to change (I thought I was pretty good, but now doing things I should've been doing more of for ME!)

All right! Now that's what I'm talking about.

You are exploring options, fixing yourself a great dinner( I LOVE pierogies) and finding ways to relax. Keep up the good work!

(((SweetCyborg)))

Sounds like a great night, SC! Feel like sharing some of your recipes with us?

Sure! I have many good recipes (whoDat on foodgawker)! Grill onions in EEVO then add Worcestershire, boil pierogies, mix together and 'fry' a little bit.

I think that's a recipe I can handle! I've never heard of the other site, but I can see I'll be spending some time there in the future.

Have a great rest of the week, SC!

I think it is easy to do after M b/c you have her then. You didn't have to work to win her like before you were M.

That is one reason it is important that you realize your changes are not to "win" her back. If they are and you did get her back....you would fall into your old patterns again once you reconciled. But if you improve yourself for "you", then those changes should last regardless of who you are with.

All of this is very hard and it is expected to hurt for a some time..but you can survive and you can be happy again. If you move forward and if she has any sense at all, she'll go find you.