Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Think my wife is having an MLC, looking for help

As for my GALing, I have a deal with another friend; they have to do something this weekend that is just for them, and so do I.

I've got two days to figure out what that might be. I guess I can go see a movie. Has anyone seen The Lightning Thief? I'm in a mood for some harmless fun.

Trent,
If she is spending hours in front of the computer playing a game, well my W has been playing the same solitare game now for a year, hours and hours. basically just staring into space. This is part of the depression speaking. I feel it is a way for her to think about her crisis. To escape the real world.

I wouldn't interrupt it. Let her do her thing while you do yours. I think it is part of the process.

Trent,

My wife also did that...but her drug of choice was social networks and IM'ing. She would come right home and job into the online delusion and block out everything else. She still goes on the computer, but it is different now...she only chats with friends and ignores everybody else. Of course in our house the kids hog the television, so the computer is our screen time until they go to bed.

Like OP said....it is an escape.

If Michelle reads the forum....with the recent noting by so many on here...maybe it is time for a nice article on the affects of computer addiction in marriages....would be a good read. That is of course if she hasn't done it already.

World of Warcraft isn't like that. It's not just mindless zoning, it's just that there is so much to do that it's easy to lose yourself in the game.

There are people who have been playing since its inception, over 5 years ago.

My IC said that I need to keep doing what I'm doing; working on GAL for myself and detaching more.

I can't help my wife until and unless she asks for it.

Is the World of Warcraft a game where relationships develop? All I have ever seen was the famous "Let's do this! Leeeroooyy Jennkinnnnsss!" video clip.

Ok, my first post, and just abit of info on this game WoW (World Of Warcraft)

Me 38, had been an addict to that game from it's inception, almost 5 years, looking at the question about what is WoW I wanted to just explain abit about how bad this game is for almost all M especialy if both S's do not play the game

It is by far the most addictive virtual world you can ever get stuck in, I was playing around 6-8 hours a day non stop for almost all of the last 5 years, my W also has been playing it for about 3 years now, my W started an EA ingame, sitting in the same room as me, that also turned into a PA, but mostly EA, I was so blinded by so many things, at this time she is in a major MLC also.

I have kicked the addiction to WoW, after my D-Day of both the A#2 and her MLC, it is a realtime, social network, and a fantacy world you can be whoever you want to be, the game revoles around intercating with people from all over the world, there are over 11 milion subscribers to this game, I would give anyone a word of warning from personal experiance, try find somthing else to take the place of a game like this as it is not healthy for a M, just like any other social network that has no bounderies, or control to it, FB, MSN, Chat Rooms etc...

As soon as I get the courage to make a post about my story I will, Good Luck TentC

Short form: yes. There is a lot that you can do by yourself, but there are -- for lack of a better term, let's call them "dungeons" -- that you team up with other players to tackle.

Many of them only require a 5-member group to do, but there are larger dungeons that can take 10-, 25-, and even 40-member groups to deal with. They usually have some story elements to them (you are chasing a particular villain or simply just exploring) and the more challenging ones require real teamwork.

If you want a good idea of what playing World of Warcraft is like, both good and bad, look for the online video series called "The Guild".

I am hi-jacking for a second Trent-



I think this is really the essence of the problem that the online world represents. It is a fantasy! I remember as a young college pup that the easiest way to pick up the other sex was to give them what the wanted. Listen...agree with everything no matter how much I disagreed...etc. Slimy...yes....I was young and thinking with a brain other than the one on my head. Friends used to ask why it was so easy....and I told them...give them what they want. Of course in being face to face....it was easy for a some one to read a lie. In the online world...there is no facial contact...no body movement to read...nothing beyond what you want to say. Just pure fantasy....with no ramifications.

Case in point....my wife started talking with an old high school friend. They chatted once or twice and then about the third time my wife was having wine during the chat, mentioned it, and then shortly there after here was his reply knowing I was home "Why don't you find some place private and I will tell you what to do with the bottle"....not kidding one bit on this.

My wife saw that I had become agitated and asked why;

1-No guy in his right mind would talk to a woman like that face to face
2-To me it is completely disrespectful to any woman to talk to them like that
3-It was disrespectful to me
4-He knows me and for sure as sh#t would have never said that unless he was over 1500 miles away

That was about 6 months ago...shortly there after he disappeared when he knew that he wasn't going to get the fun he wanted. Granted for the most part...men are self-centered slime. I hate to be stereo typical, but I see it all the time at the bar also. Woman go there also.....so I won't clear them of it either. Then add a world were it can be done anonymously.....just explosions waiting to happen as these boards are showing more and more. I bet if we did a survey on here we would find that most affairs don't start in bars anymore.....more like the internet and work have become the meet up place of choice.

Of my chair Trent...How are you today?

Doing well. The detachment and PMA are coming along nicely.

I have plans for this weekend that include cleaning up my bedroom a little bit; I moved an old chair that no one ever sat in to the garage, and am planning on hanging up some real curtains instead of the bedsheets we'd been using for almost 3 years.

My wife wants to do the Retrouvaille followup session on Sunday; things seem a little bit lighter at home, though she did spend some time in the game. She actually logged out before I had to go to bed, so we could spend some time together (even if it is just watching TV).