Well, after 5 years of marriage I've had enough. Filed for separation. Married late, and took some risks marrying someone from a much different background who would rather spend time with her friends and with her hobbies than being a wife. She is just a fair mother; I'll never get custody in the state where we currently reside (favors mothers 95% of the time) despite her uncleanliness and leaving kids unattended several times. She has no drug/alcohol abuse issues, which are about the only silver bullet for fathers winning custody where we reside. Have been advised to not even seek custody by four different lawyers.
Wife comes from a background where father wasn't around, raised by grandparents. Does not respect me now, and never has. I wish it had not taken over five years to come to my sense. Now, I can only hope to meet someone who wants to have a family and is capable of putting her husband and the family first.
In my mid-thirties now, I can only hope that there is time to recover and have a happy life with a good wife and children...
These days it seems so hard to choose that special someone wisely. Many women seem argumentative or greedy. I chose poorly. Hope to find some resources on these forums to help get me past the current situation, although I've already made the decision to split (second separation, not going to go through this again).
Do you have more than one child with the soon to be ex? How old are they?
I chose poorly too. I remember thinking that no one had ever really loved my sweetheart, and that if I loved that girl enough I could reverse all the heartache she'd experienced since birth.
It doesn't really work that way; but I have faith that I'll get to a space where I don't regret trying.
I hope you do too.
Peace...
M:40 W:40 2 teenagers ILYBNILWY: 09 January 2010 soon to be walking away my situation
Thank you. Two children of our own, young. Of course, the most difficult thing of all is losing custody of them and watching them spend most of their young lives without me by their sides. I think time will teach them how much I love them, and hope that my relationship with them only grows once their old enough to understand.
I am the walkaway spouse. My stbx is 31 years old and is not going to change. She has had several chances, including counseling sessions (individual/joint) and also a BIG chance to figure out if she'd rather pursue her hobbies or be a wife after I moved out (the first time) last summer. She chose to be a wife for two months after we moved back under the same roof; once again her friends and hobbies are coming first while I'm the one taking care of the kids in the evenings (while paying all the bills on my income). I give up. Life is too short for this nonsense, and I have chosen to retain what is left of my life and make it happy while hopefully making others' lives better.
Am using "new free time" that I'll find after the divorce is final as a way to contribute to charity, make elderly folks' lives better, maybe work with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, etc.
burn up the mail and telephone lines. they won't forget their dad.
Thank you, Crushed_v95. Her kid's dad never calls his child. I'm going to be much more involved... if she will allow it. If she does not, the kids will one day figure it out.
Military divorce is a messy matter for the active duty spouse.
