Last year, I walked around hating my wife. Feeling really bad & major guilt trips when I felt this. She isn't a bad woman, but we weren't getting along and she was just pure nasty.
This year, no guarantees on the M, but the hate is gone. Understanding her better has helped. Did you read, "men are from mars, women are from venus" or "improve your marriage without talking about it"? They both helped a lot.
That doesn't mean the BS maynard talked about is any less, nor less deserving of your anger. It is just that your anger won't make the M work. If you don't want to get rid of your anger with her & the sitch, how can you stay M?
If you don't want to get rid of your anger with her & the sitch, how can you stay M?
i do want to have these "evil" feelings gone, but she is being so nasty towards me and we are both very stubborn in our ways....just found another 180 for me....let it go, stop dwelling and act "as if".
on the other hand i think i shot an evil look at her this am and it stung her.
that is what i used to do - i don't want to go back to that place ort be that guy any more.
guess that is why i post so often (and yes sometimes just rambling) - just like any man i bottled up my feeling s for so long i am not sure how to talk to people about them anymore....lol
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
i do want to have these "evil" feelings gone, but she is being so nasty towards me and we are both very stubborn in our ways....just found another 180 for me....let it go, stop dwelling and act "as if".
as do I...they're putting a tremendous strain on me physically. it sucks walking around angry all the time. at the same time, as I said in my own thread, I think I'm afraid that if I stop being angry, it's like I'm saying it's ok what my ex did.
Anger isn't the same as passion. Set boundaries and use your energy to hold to them. Do 180s and use your fear of getting that angry to hold yourself to them.
If you had mad-dog woman looking at you, would you work with her or against her?
I just walked up to my very angry W and tried to have a conversation about a skipping club. She was sharp with her words, as though I had just insulted her. I asked her if something was wrong, even though I expected it was negative R thinking. Sure enough, she began. I redirected the conversation, empathized a bit, reminded her that our goal was to build a connection. She wanted to stay angry because she wants to never be hurt again so being angry with me sabotages any hope. So I let her be. But I didn't. I can be proud of that. I'm up here typing, feeling very raw, but I didn't let that out on her.
Remember, IF you want your relationship to work, YOU need to do the changes no matter how emotional.
PS - sorry to the women who might take offense, but at least my W is the meanest, nastiest, and most sensitive 2 days before and throughout her period. I made the connection in this year that every time she really gets into the 'I want out' talks, she is just beginning her period. PMS lives... (:
Last edited by Onthemountaintop; 02/17/1012:13 AM. Reason: forgot sth.
i do want to have these "evil" feelings gone, but she is being so nasty towards me and we are both very stubborn in our ways....just found another 180 for me....let it go, stop dwelling and act "as if".
as do I...they're putting a tremendous strain on me physically. it sucks walking around angry all the time. at the same time, as I said in my own thread, I think I'm afraid that if I stop being angry, it's like I'm saying it's ok what my ex did.
gosh...I so feel you on this
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
