I had a lot to say! I was then talking to MC on skype preparing for friday, then spoke to W on phone for a while... gonna eat, then give some more thoughts.
I say this all with an emasculated high voice-- as yea my nuts have been gone for some time now...
I really feel like some of the things that you all have said have stuck.
I do not feel like a victim so much which is good. I feel responsible to some extent to where I am in life... or all of it. Not sure.
I realize I have not been a father. My kids have been like pets, or ornaments, or something to me. That is a combination, by my assessment, of me, my path, and other factors.
so I feel like my perspective has shifed. One is that I am not so much a victim. two is that I need to man up and stop being such a simpering whatever...and third I need to start thinking about how I can focus on my kids more and try and be a father to them.. something I haven't done yet.
so we will see how the next few days goes. fri I head up to the fam's town. MC on friday.. then the weekend there....
If you hang around here, if you speak honestly, if you walk the walk and don't just talk the talk...
These amazing people will walk with you (in a metaphorical way of course) every step along the way.
Each one is a veteran of their own personal wars. Each one has valuable lessons learned to share. Each one wants you to be another of the success stories - read that, someone who wins by righting themselves.
You'll get it straight here, that's for sure. One of the benefits of relative anonymity is that we rarely feel the need to pull punches when they are required. But I like to think that it's more that, having walked our own little personal versions of hell on earth for awhile, we would do anything we could to help another avoid some of the pitfalls.
These are good people here.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Determine YOUR course of action and let nothing sway it.
Write down what you are going to do, write it in a couple of places. Put it in the car, bathroom, your scrubs pocket, your wallet. It will remind you of your decision and will give you the resolve to stay the course.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Jack-- I did read invictus when the movie came out because I was wondering where word came from... its great. I will read it again.
it is also in the "Dangerous Book for Boys"... as one of the poems that boys should know...
MHL-- I will do as you said. I did write down some stuff that "David" wrote on a 3x5 card. I'm sure ya'll know him-- I think he was back 9 years ago or so... but really was a pretty amazing guy the way he made a plan and stuck to it.
I have not been able to do that yet.
o hey-- was it D$ who hit a deer today?
when I was rotating down at a VA hospital I had to drive a 2 hour drive to get there. about 5 in the morning I hit one going 80 in a honda civic on an interstate highway. the passenger side airbag but not driver deployed. scared the CRAP out of me... front of car was wrecked but not totally undrivable... so I drove the rest of the way there... had to get to rounds, right? I was amazed that the thing didn't flip up into my windshield and kill me... also amazing was that the driver side airbag didn't deploy..
