Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Female opinions on asking for rings back?

If she wants to keep the ring get appraisal ask for that amount extra in the settlement. She can keep the ring, but not for free. It is simply a marital asset at this point that should be liquidated like the rest of the property.

Personally, I wouldn't want it back. And if she did give it back, she wouldn't as money is her major love, I would sell it. I certainly wouldn't save it for my daughter . . . it would seem a bit cursed to me at that point.

I thought about getting it back to give to my daughter when she meets the right person. I dont feel that my w is "qualified" to do it herself because she chose to walk away for another man. It is not a family heirloom but at what point does it become one? Maybe I will start that tradition? I am leaning towards not asking for it back but who cares if she sees me as greedy, hurt, or just a jerk?

Seems to me that the young man who proposes to your D would want to provide her with a ring. Don't know that I've heard of the girl's father doing it.

I'm just going to lay it out here and I don't do it hatefully b/c it isn't my intent to hurt your feelings, but whenever I read posts from LBH's who want to get the wedding rings back b/c his W walked away from the M, it always has a sound of bitterness. I think it does make a man look like a jerk and that it does make him appear to be vendictive and that he is now grabbing at straws in stricking back. If that was not the case, then why try to defend the feelings or try to find some excuse to get the rings back? And why would any D want to wear the rings from the failed marriage of her parents?

Yes, I figured these would be the opinions I would get. This thread was more of a poll I guess because I was curious about the opinions. I could have asked for the ring back a long time ago but chose not to. But hypathetically...what if I wanted to sell it and buy a flatscreen TV? If I was fully detached would I not see it as just another asset? The fact that I CARE about how I am perceived by my STBX shows attachment. Arent we always told, detach! detach! food for thought?

The engagement ring is a gift. It belongs to your wife. You can ask for it back but she is under no obligation to give it to you, just as you are not obligated to return any gifts she gave you over the years.

Yes, it will make you look like a petty, bitter, selfish jerk. Not only to your wife but also to your daughters.

If you were detached you wouldn't care about her rings at all. You would be selling your ring to help finance the tv purchase.

the ring is tainted!!! don't touch it!

I already have a tv. Hypothetical was the question. I decided to not ask for the ring back but this can still be a good discussion for the newbees out there.

What's there to discuss? You don't ask for gifts back. Even if you bought it together, it's not a marital asset, it's an expense.

My W's rings belonged to my grandmother. They were a gift to me to give to her from my mother. My mother only gave them to me because she thought W would love me forever.

I asked for the rings back because they are a family heirloom and I'm going to put them in storage for my daughters' sons.

She said yes ... although she hasn't given them to me yet.

My ring belongs to my mother-in-law. If my H (if we really do end everything) asks for it back to give to one of the girls I would respond that I will keep the ring and when one of them do decide to get married and WANT the ring that I will give the ring to her.

This was a gift to me from my H and no matter where our M is at this point the ring means something to me.