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How long ago was this? You've pretty much KNOWN he's been lying to you, most of the time, haven't you?

Puppy

Anniversary trip was the end October 2009.

I know he has been lying to me and not the man I married. Also found out that he has purchased a ring...not sure who this is for! He just did this a couple of days ago - 4 days after we had a really good talk too! I feel like I am going backwards today!

Another question - since the A is out in the open why does he feel he needs to lie about it ?

i know how this feels! i think my family feels like my H is not just separated from me, but from THEM as well. my sister says, how on EARTH could he NOT want to be with you since you are so amazing/smart/beautiful/all the other things your family members insist that you are. my mother wants to know how on earth i could even give him the time of day. my coach told me that as hard as it is, you also have to set boundaries with your FAMILY. i had to tell my mom, "mom, i love you and i so appreciate that you only want the best for me, but this is MY marriage and what i need from you right now is your support, and if you can't give it to me, that's fine, but i don't want to hear about what you think i SHOULD be doing."

but i'm a daddy's girl, too. and it kills me to see my dad hurting over this, too, but, if what i think is best for me is to fight for my marriage, i certainly can't control what my family thinks.

hope you have a good, stress-free weekend with your family. it helps if you tell them you need a mental break from talking about your situation!

I plan on telling them just that. Thanks for giving me the words!. As I know this will be a topic - I am going to set a time limit and let them know no more talk of it after we are done. I want to enjoy the weekend - and the kids do to - the girls have not seen their grandparents since September and son not since March.

Because ALL CHEATERS LIE -- PERIOD.

I haven't really followed your sitch, so that's why I was asking about the dates. I would have thought this wouldn't surprise you this much by now.

Puppy

Most likely because I want to believe him so badly that the lies are over.

I understand.

great day with the parents today. Had a really good talk and they support my decision not to just throw in the towel. Also agreed that leaving the house would be a mistake. If nothing comes out of this with my H and I I have become even closer to my parents.

The only strange thing todays was not having H here. This is the first time he has not been here for a birthday dinner for one of our children. Kept the kids laughing all day to keep their mind (and mine) off that. They even had Grandma and Grandpa playing the Wii!

H called this morning - really early.. and called the house phone. He knows that the kids sleep late on weekends and he always calls their cells.

Wondering why H called the house phone and called so early. He asked how the weekend was going with my parents - seemed to want details. Asked him what he was doing - he was cleaning!! he hasn't had to clean a house in 20 years!

He offered details of what he was doing today (going to see his mom - at least I know he was not seeing OW). He asked what we had planned - I offered little details.

Good talk - kept it short - wished him a Happy Valentines Day and he also wished me one.