Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Is there hope?

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Plan for the worst.

Hi Maynard,

I would like to suggest a 180 for you:
"Pass out what you want to receive"

Go out and start supporting other members. Start reading their sitch and posting to them. Empathy or words of wisdom.

Helping others helps me. It makes it clear on how I deal with MsR2C.

What R2C said

OK- my comp has a virus so I was unable to post.
W has been out of the house since Thurs last week. NC has been pretty good- the terms are only for banking, taxes, moving, dogs, or lawyer.
Sat- let W know I was away if she wanted to visit the dogs.
Sun- asked that W come over to go through our things to see who wants what.
W-is the computer back?
Me-if you cant respect me to address my statements or questions, then I will have to return in kind
W-Jeez, drop it already...we can do that during the move
Me-that will slow the process I'd like for the move to be as quick as possible
W-dont worry it will be quick
Me- I'm not trying to be rude- we both need to move on w/ our lives
W-I know
Me- so we agree, let me know if you're able to come today
W- prob not today, will let you know
Me- Since I wont see u dad asked that you call him
W- grerat now Im stressed, why cant I talk to you about it?
Me- it does not concern me, it is your business affair

I thought this was pretty good.

This AM I awoke to:
W-how does it make you feel that you never provided for me? Your parents do everything for you.
W-I feel like I'm divorcing your dad, I feel like I should be going over the financial issues w/ you.
W-no need to reply, I'm just venting, I am so pissed.

My replies:
Me- I'm sorry you feel that way, it must be hard having those feelings.
Me- I dont appreciate you using words like never, you know that isn't the case. I did what I had to to get a better job wehen we needed more income.
Me- You are divorcing all of us, the business affairs are between you and dad- it does not concern me.
Me- this is what you want, I will not facilitate it in any way, but I will be understanding and supportive


Not sure if the last one was necessary. I know I need to show her I'm detached and ready to move on. Looking for any input on the matter.

The weekend was good, I felt a bit emotional Sat, but spoke w/ family, and now seem to feel pretty good about things- it's much easier w/o AW in the house.

I like this--it's good, IMO.

Maynard, you have gotten over the worst hump already & survived.
I'm sure she is going back and forth in her head a lot right now but it's not your problem.

Do you, as they say.

Thanks Soleil-
I wish I had done a better job while she was still at home- I was obscessed over the A and it affected much of my behavior. Oh well- nothing I can do about it now.
It was the most difficult few months of my life- the constant stress, the lies, the tit-for-tat. I GAL and she acts out even more. I make myself available and regret it, etc etc etc.

I hate to say it, but I do hope she's going back and forth alot. W/ me out of the equation and not in her face or at her beck and call- it's much easier to go about my business. Still limbo- just a little more space, no stuffy pink elephant in the room

So more BS from OM- texting me. It appears he and his GF (not my W) are having really hard times- and he is blaming me for it. Still NC w/ W since the exchange above.

Havent received any advice in a day now...hoping not everyone has folded their tents.

Today- work, pay ticket, file taxes, gym, read

We all obsessed over the affairs. Its only natural. You are going to think about it all the time for quite a while to come. Its how we process things to store them and understand them. Right now our understanding is rather lacking. So we process and process and process. It is a defining moment in our lives. And we will see our lives as before and after that moment when we found out. Our reactions are at first confused and lacking direction. Then we start to wake up. Play the game. And take over the flow of the game. Or at least think we have control of the game.

You are not doing the No Contact right now. You are doing the DIM LRT. Keep with her having her space. And keep working on yourself.

P.S. it was nice of you to drop by. You posted a very good question my friend. I am glad you took time from your life to look in on mine. Thank you very much.

Cutter, you do it for me and others all the time- I hope to be in your place soon...healthy, whole, and w/o regret