Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done Talk About a Quick Divorce

I am doing fine mostly. 90% of the time things are working well--sometimes you wake up and get a curve ball.

My Ex's mom hasn't liked me for a long time but I was very bothered when the ex MIL seemed to 300% support her daughter's willingness to get a divorce. Now remember, my ex didn't tell her parents "I want out of this marriage because I am having an affair--she went around and told people she "hadn't been happy for a long time" and "this was a long time coming" etc...so her parents automatically have me as the bad guy. Fast forward a couple of months (yesterday) and I see a Facebook posting by my ex MIL making a comment on the ex's OM's Facebook page. Now, either she knows about the affair and sanctions it or doesn't know and it bothers me that she thinks the affair partner is an "okay" guy. He isn't and had an instrumental role in wrecking my kids' lives.

My answer was to simply block all news page updates from the former MIL and the Ex so I don't have to see it. I can't control their behavior nor can I worry about it. I won't allow myself that.

BTW I can be reached via the gmail e-mail service. The easiest way is to use my first initial and then my last name. s is the first and then combine what what people do in marathons (run) and then yon and then 65 if you want to dop me a line. I monitor that constantly but not always this. I'd be interested in having a drink with you if you ever make it back to Belleville.

How are you doing--tough weeks in the recent past huh? stbxh can walk into his place of work with his head high because he is in a fog and feeling good, feels he did nothing wrong, and fits the profile of the WAS as the most selfish organism on the planet. He also gave a lot up and now is obligated to make it work.

Take care,
Scott

I am doing pretty well. Mediation was a joke; he threw out the same offer as almost a year ago when he walked out. We never saw each other and after 2 1/2 hours my attorney said, "Let's get out of here" so we did.

The best thing I did was take a rebuilding seminar for 10 weeks. I have new, supportive and amazing male and female friends.

Anyway, hope I found you on the e-mail so we can chat more. Would love to catch up on the news around your area.

Yeah, the whole mediation thing was a joke too when my ex's OM and his wife wanted to go through it. Its kinda funny because I led my ex down the path and let her thing mediation would be the route and and I had already retained an attorney to get the best deal possible for me. Bottom line, I may not have handled it and her with kid gloves exactly but I did follow my attorny's advice to the T. He said look, no amount of being nice by you is going to change the fact that she wants a divorce and seems pretty determined to get it. Being nice and gracious and generous is just going to make you PO'd at her and and yourself later and all you will hav is less of what you worked hard to get over the years--but you'll most likely still be divorced. He said I have done 2500 divorces and I see it and hear it all and I am not going to be your counselor or anything but I think I probably am more qualified at this point than many who claim to be counselors. He said she is in a zone where you can't touch her, see her, or anything else and she wants away from you and feels a little guilty about messing up you life--just a small amount-but a lot guilty about messing up your kids. Take advantage of the guilt and get this thing done in a way that's good for you. You can always go back and remarry later after you have protected yourself and your kids.


It gets better-trust me!

Take care,
Scott

BTW you found me--cograts or condolences!

lol! Sent you a long-winded "all about ME" e-mail.

Would you even consider remarrying her? I'm glad you're protecting the kids, very smart!

Hmmmm would I reconsider marrying her. My wounded ego would have to say hell no. I can't deny that I do still have feelings for her--some days more than others. If she showed up on the door and said "my bad--what WAS I thinking can we put this behind us and be together" I would say no--not at this point. You need to live on your own and I need to live on my own and we need to make a less hasty decision on what was best and btw don't wait for me and I won't wait for you and we can "date" in the meantime to see if we want anything more anymore.

If I didn't have kids with the woman and have 20 years of good memories I wouldn't but its tearing the kids up. They are brave soldiers but I see the stress cracks in the shells from time to time.

Why do you ask.

BTW--I answered your long winded e-mail too. Thanks for that.

Scott