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SpyBunny #1931289 02/05/10 05:07 AM
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Thanks Bunny. Hope all is still well with you.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1931736 02/05/10 07:50 PM
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With apologies for thread-jacking...

Mary Chapin Carpenter’s The Age Of Miracles Out April 27 On Zoë/Rounder Records
(Posted 01/12/10)
The Age of Miracles, the new album from world-renowned singer-songwriter Mary Chapin Carpenter will be released April 27 on Zoë/Rounder Records. Over the course of a 12-album recording career, Carpenter has won five Grammy® Awards and sold over 13 million records. The new record follows 2008’s acclaimed Christmas release Come Darkness, Come Night and 2007’s Grammy®-nominated album The Calling.

Recorded in Nashville, the 12-track album was produced by Carpenter and long-time collaborator Matt Rollings (Lyle Lovett, Keith Urban) and was recorded and mixed by Chuck Ainlay (Mark Knopfler, Sheryl Crow, Willie Nelson). Carpenter is backed by a band that includes Rollings (piano, B-3 organ), Russ Kunkel (drums), Duke Levine (electric and acoustic guitar), Glenn Worf (bass), Dan Dugmore (steel and 12 string guitar) and Eric Darken (percussion). The album also features guest vocals by Vince Gill on “I Put My Ring Back On” and Alison Krauss on “I Was a Bird.”

A national tour is planned surrounding the release. Additional details to be announced.

cbih #1932080 02/06/10 04:44 AM
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Thanks, CBIH! No thread-jacking at all! Welcome, much-anticipated news!
Originally Posted By: cbih
With apologies for thread-jacking...

Mary Chapin Carpenter’s The Age Of Miracles Out April 27 On Zoë/Rounder Records
(Posted 01/12/10)
The Age of Miracles, the new album from world-renowned singer-songwriter Mary Chapin Carpenter will be released April 27 on Zoë/Rounder Records. Over the course of a 12-album recording career, Carpenter has won five Grammy® Awards and sold over 13 million records. The new record follows 2008’s acclaimed Christmas release Come Darkness, Come Night and 2007’s Grammy®-nominated album The Calling.

Recorded in Nashville, the 12-track album was produced by Carpenter and long-time collaborator Matt Rollings (Lyle Lovett, Keith Urban) and was recorded and mixed by Chuck Ainlay (Mark Knopfler, Sheryl Crow, Willie Nelson). Carpenter is backed by a band that includes Rollings (piano, B-3 organ), Russ Kunkel (drums), Duke Levine (electric and acoustic guitar), Glenn Worf (bass), Dan Dugmore (steel and 12 string guitar) and Eric Darken (percussion). The album also features guest vocals by Vince Gill on “I Put My Ring Back On” and Alison Krauss on “I Was a Bird.”

A national tour is planned surrounding the release. Additional details to be announced.
Good Line-up, too!

Hey, if you remember back to an early song, He Thinks He'll Keep Her (one of TGSTBXW's favorites), I once "quoted" two lines from it out of sequence to her - long after the D Bomb- and kind of paraphrased: Since ours is her 2nd divorce, I said:

"You gotta stop saying
"'Forever' with a smile upon your face..."
"At least until you change your mind."

You know, I actually did some "healing" work with IC using songs from her The Calling CD. In Stages. Each stage represented a next step, a milestone.

1) The Leaving Song
2) Closer and Closer Apart
3) Here I am
4) Bright Morning Star. (This is where I am, now, in the process.)

And next Tuesday, 2/07/10 after the Big D is final, up on my FB Wall goes a stanza from The Leaving Song:

"And the three greatest gifts of moving on
Are forgiveness, hope and the great beyond
After that perhaps peace can come
Peace will come"


Thanks, again.

Last edited by Gardener; 02/06/10 04:46 AM.

Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1932088 02/06/10 05:01 AM
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Oh, no!
It's midnight and I just remembered the house is being shown twice tomorrow morning! 9:30 and 10:30!

Not too much to do - I've been pretty much keeping it constantly "show" ready every day, so just a few things to do. But it is midnight, so off I go.
Good night and love to all!

Tomorrow, gang!


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1932479 02/07/10 02:45 AM
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Gardener actually requesting emergency 2x4s!!
I know the answer - I really do - I just need to hear it from others to really convince me I'm pondering being an ass!

It began this evening after reading flowmom's new thread: "Those Aren't Fighting Words, Dear.":
Originally Posted By: flowmom
I'd love to hear what others thought about the NYT article "Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear" http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html. Does it seem like DBing in action to you? The author has a book coming out this spring, so the article is a bit of a teaser. Apologies if this has already been discussed here.
I responded to flowmom:
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Flow, I was very impressed. Some of it DB (counterintuitive), some of it not (intuitive).
Interestingly, she didn't overreact, she didn't even react. She rolled with it. With understanding, insight, patience and love. Despite the gender differences, if it wasn't 3 days before my D, I'd send it to Mrs. G.Thanks for sharing it
And then. And then, Sentimental, Romantic til-the-bitter-end Gardener wound up writing this email: Fortunately, like always, I addressed it to myself in case I mistakenly or compulsively hit "send":
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Mrs. G.,
I'll probably regret sending this. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html
A friend just sent it to me.

Some of it is germane. Most of it is not. The genders are reversed and the issues are somewhat similar to ours while also not the least bit similar at all (what exactly were our real insurmountable issues, anyway?)

If it hadn't been for the totally unexpected and unanticipated shattering blow of the Bomb on 11/09/08, the all-consuming Depression, the ensuing pain, panic and knee-jerk tendency to initially blame myself for everything, combined with the egg-shell-walking timidity and fear of pushing you even further away, I would have reacted and done so much differently.

I did - and tried - the very best I could at the time and under the never-in-a-million-years imagined situation. It just didn't work. As (IC) said to me once, "It didn't work. It was never going to." You were already long gone while all along I was thinking you were still right there. I hope (MC) was a better IC for you during those many weeks you saw him alone than he was as an MC.
Just sharing an interesting article with you. No agenda. It's too late for agendas. There are no agendas left, anyway. Besides, I don't know who you are.
You have needlessly destroyed everything.
I'll see you Tuesday morning.
Gardener
I won't send it. But I can't even believe I thought writing it might do some good at this late date. Sometimes the Lord giveth Detachment; sometimes He takes it away.
Thanks in advance for smacking me around.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1932482 02/07/10 02:54 AM
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Ok, first, I'm sorry friend. And I can identify with you. I, like you, want to see some spark of hope. But, it's just not there. B/c, like you said, she's gone. LONG gone.

You know the answer. DON'T send that email. NOTHING good can come from it. You know your STBXW knows where you stand and how to find you if she wants to.

Keep your dignity. She can't have that. Don't give it to her.

And, I write these words as I sit here and process my anger towards my W for doing what she is doing. I don't want her anymore. But, that doesn't mean it is painless.

Kepp your chin up. And keep moving towards your new life. I'm right behind you buddy.


Me 43, S11, D7
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I agree with GIMA, DO NOT give her your dignity.
I feel you brother, i truly do. Keep strong Gardener, because you are!!!!
You will be fine.

Gardener #1932488 02/07/10 03:03 AM
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wow...where does strength come from when those we look to strength for need it the most?

Gardner you're only human...and this is someone who you shared your life with....not just a house or some meals...your life. So letting go, while it may be/sound easy to some...isnt so easy for all.

Your sentiment...your heart was in the right place...but given the point at which you're at...I think your words would fall on deaf ears (and some of them should...it seems you were passing too much blame on her with some of the stuff). If this were 6 months from now...or even a few years...it might have a better chance.

so take comfort that you didnt send it...that you stayed strong...and in the end you did the right thing.

Last edited by nsw1222; 02/07/10 03:03 AM.

Me - 32
EX - 26
D - 3

BOMB: 11/02/09
EA/PA confirmed 1/29/10

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1953269
nsw1222 #1932499 02/07/10 03:13 AM
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Some say not to send it. Some say to delete it. Some suggest to burn the letter afterwords.

I say that the important thing is you got it out of your head. That is all that matters.


Stay strong brother!


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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gima,
Thanks. I did delete it. Right after reading your response.

The heart is a puzzling, mysterious entity. Mine can - and has - gone from a perfectly justifiable "Eff her!" one day, right back to "Can't she see how wrong and unnecessary this all is?!" the very next day - even at this (or perhaps because of this) late stage of the game with less than 72 hours to go for this marriage.
But, then again, this marriage has been over for well over a year, now.

It's only 72 hours until two signatures are affixed and it's official.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Keep your dignity. She can't have that. Don't give it to her.
Thank you for that reminder.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
And, I write these words as I sit here and process my anger towards my W for doing what she is doing. I don't want her anymore. But, that doesn't mean it is painless.
I appreciate your words all the more coming as they do in the middle of your own heartache.
Originally Posted By: givingitmayall
I'm right behind you buddy.
I know. Believe me, I know.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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