My SO just sent me a text message asking if her tax form came in the mail.
This is so unfair. How come she can call me about or ask anything she wants and I have to respond but she flips my own boundary around on me and says she isnt going to talk about anything with me other than my daughter?
If I sent her any sort of message I can guarantee it would be ignored or I'd get a bad attitude response.
Maybe I cant read anything into it, but is she violating the boundary she set up? Could this possibly mean she will soften?
MINDREADING. PLEASE STOP IT.
A question like that should not be answered immediately. Tomorrow, let her know if it's come or not.
A question like that should not be answered immediately. Tomorrow, let her know if it's come or not.
Puppy
fortunately I didnt respond yet. so I will let it go until tomorrow morning. she will be over to get our D and I can tell her then.
I just hope she's not mad that I didnt answer right away...and I hope she doesnt text me again or call after work tonight. I dont wanna be an ass again...it seems wrong not answering her.
I just hope she's not mad that I didnt answer right away...and I hope she doesnt text me again or call after work tonight. I dont wanna be an ass again...it seems wrong not answering her.
If you were present, and she asked you to your face, and you didn't respond . . . that would be being an ass.
Via text message, you can plausibly say you had your phone turned off, or were busy, and didn't get her message. The rules of etiquette are different for text messages.
But I too wanna ask you, why do you even CARE if she's upset?? The only thing you're caring about now is "The Right Thing to Do," remember?
Well one thing I wouldnt say is that I had my phone turned off. one reason is that you can tell when someone has received a message and she'd know I was lying.
the other and biggest reason is that having her phone turned off is what prompted me to go over to her house Friday and what messed things up for me.
And as for why I care...I dunno...it seems that when she gets mad at me, that pushes us further from reconciliation. I hate to keep bringing up Friday...but she got really mad at me then and it ruined everything.
Until I see some positive signs in our situation again I will now think of that day as being as bad if not worse that the day the ILYBINILWY bomb was dropped.
So...what should I tell her then when she comes over? I was busy? I will heed your advice...but I'm trying to think of what I could possibly have been so busy doing that I couldnt have responded with a simple yes or no.
In my 7 years on the board, and studying thousands of troubled marriages, I have yet to see one salvaged by a spouse -- especially a man -- who was preoccupied with "she gets mad at me."
Just an observation. But an accurate one that you might want to consider.
In my 7 years on the board, and studying thousands of troubled marriages, I have yet to see one salvaged by a spouse -- especially a man -- who was preoccupied with "she gets mad at me."
Just an observation. But an accurate one that you might want to consider.
Puppy
I think you said this in some other form in another thread...that people are doing "what works"...but they misunderstand "what works" as what doesnt make their H/W mad.
And boy do I know my SO or what? I didnt answer...but she just called me and I'm assuming its about the tax document. I'm sad to say I almost hit my head on the ceiling from jumping so high when I heard my phone ring and saw it was her calling. My heart is still pounding a little.
Heres something I didnt mention earlier but am now to see if it makes a difference: When she gets all her tax documents together we are supposed to get our taxes done and split the money we get back based on claiming our D. My SO will likely be the one to claim her and we'll split her refund. Does that make a difference as to whether I should be answering her or not?
