Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done Fast track to her divorcing me

In every situation here this is so far from the truth. I'd start taking some time and reconcider that statement.

That's probably true but I did not change over night.

Her 180 attitude change towards me however, was over night. That's the part I don't get. I could have made love to her two months ago and now she can't even stand for me to stand too close to her.

Might I suggest in your newly created 'spare time' you go through the WAS forums and read some of the stories of WAS and why they have done what they did to give yourelf some insight on yourself and to what is going through your W's head and why she wants out.

You're right, you didn't change over night, and neither did she.

So I take it that means that I have "repulsed" her for a while now and she has just been faking her past affections towards me?

That is seriousely screwed up!

I do understand the WAW reasoning behind it (if you can call it that) but I still find it amazing that she held this in for so long and so well, that being the case.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger, but that is the message I'm trying to convey to you and I'm willing to bet you've heard first hand from your W. Things like "I've been dead inside for 'X' amoutn of time" or "I've been so numb" it's all as we say, script.

And finally one day, like an earthquake, it strikes without obvious warning. But, you come to find in due time, she's been giving you warning s signs all along, you just weren't picking up on them.

You're reaction to this cold hard truth, is nothing out of the normal either. LBS have a script too afterall.

Well Im reading page 12 of the official LBS script and all it sez there is to grab both cheeks and bend over.

Im just not doing that.

Helped her with her Wifi problem today. Aint I a nice guy? Now she can email her boyfriend again (if she has one).

The woman only calls me if she needs something. Should not hear from her for a while though. She's all set up now. Everything is done. I will see I guess.

Im going dark again. Best thing for me to do AFAIK. Hello darkness my old friend...

And THIS, has to stop. Now.

Don't be readily available, don't answer your phone or messages right away if at all. Give her exactly what she thinks she wants, life WITHOUT YOU.

Well I called her about her tax refund today. This will be the last time we file together.

She still manages to call me at least every other day for something not that important.

She did take me to the ER last Sat morning. My Son was MIA so she was all I had. She seemed OK with helping me out. I conveyed to her that in an emergency like this I would do the same for her even after the divorce. She understood.

To repay her for sitting in the hospital for 7 hours I helped her with some household stuff she needed. This may seem like Im backsliding but it was only fair that I repay her.

Going dark again.

ok ....be prepared and I think you are there is someone else....ok why isnt he coming to her needs....consider this...he is married and hasnt left his wife yet so he may not be totally hers yet....

In an affair..women tend to leave first and the man they are in cohoets with takes longer to make the break from there family....so she may appear to others like she is getting out of a bad marriage....and suffering and healing and then all of the sudden her new guy will pop up...but he has been there ...just a possibility...
but either way I lay odds there is someone...in the wings ...

I hung on to the whole mlc thing......I thought we had an amazing marriage...no not in the perfect sense...but that we fit together were so committed etc....then came the sectratary...and i would have bet he never would have cheated......or left his family..

anyway protect yourself which may not be too hard she gave ou the house...keep whatever you can....not that the stuff matters...it just wont leave you feeling as voilated later when she is announcing her marriage to the new guy....that she just met....yea right take care and I agree now it doesnt matter if its mlc or waw......it all is the pits and leaves u the same.....alone abandoned and rejected...its not U ...but it will be a long process to get there...take care

She lived with me for a month after the bomb. I went into 007 spy mode in that time and have yet to find any real evidence of an OM or PA, only a possible long distance EA and not 100% sure of that either.

She has always admitted that the problem was hers and not me and I made sure (wrong or right) that family and friends knew that I was not the bad guy. Truth is, only she knows why she is leaving me and she may not even know herself.

She has been living by herself now for about 3 weeks and this weekend she has been contacting me a lot. She is starting to want to do things with me. Why so soon?

I have considered that she may simply be using me but there is the slight chance that she actually is starting to miss me. This is what I want but I just do not know where her heart is. Im not giving it too much hope. I have my guard up and I still hurt.

Im not sure what I should do now. Im confused. I thought going dark would be a good thing but SHE is initiating contact with me now and it feels good. I have no real reason to reject her as I do not know if there is an OP for sure. I am starting to wonder if this is the case.

You may be correct though that she may simply be waiting for our divorce date on 9Feb2010 to drop an OP-bomb on me with some dirtbag that she has known for months if not years. But right now Im totally in the dark on what she is doing.

Im just not sure whether I should continue being grey or be receptive of her wanting to spend time with me. Sure didnt take long for her to start contacting me so this has me skeptical. I feel that maybe she is realizing now that living alone is not all she thought it would be. Only she knows for sure.

I think I will be receptive to her and civil but with no expectations. Ill let her decide if she wants to spend time with me and see where it goes. Good strategy?