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TF,

It does come back. It just takes time. But I know when there is too much on my plate at once, still I just sort of crash and burn LOL.

I sure hope it does! I love to read and these days can't concentrate on anything but a no-brainer novel. I have tried to read parenting books, etc. and don't seem to retain anything I read.

I've noticed this too in my H. But he's always been a bit forgetful, and I usually have a mind like a steel trap.

I wonder if it's a good sign that he remembers conversations more than me lately. :P

I can relate however I'm starting to come out of my fog. Tried to do a daily devotional last year and by the time I closed the book I couldn't remember what the topic was.

Thanks to everyone who replied. You are all life savers. My initial lizard brain reaction was to call my W and accuse her of all kinds of nasty things. That would have been very counter productive. One thing I've learned through the past two years of is that your quality of life is dictated by how you react to situations.

C-Bart, one important rule that can help a lot in dealing with an MLCer (well, anybody really) is rather than react to something, give it 24-48 hours and then if you need to say something at least you will hopefully be much calmer and not reacting out of anger/frustration. So if your W says something crazy MLC try not to respond off the cuff.

I have found so many, many times that when I have waited, I find later that I really didn't need to respond in any way which has probably saved a lot of added heartache and harsh words.

Waiting is good especially if your initial reaction is anger or frustration, but eventually the goal of any good relationship is to be able to share your feelings without fear of what they are going to do or say.

I feel that I am ready to start communicating with my W who has been out of the house since Sept. 09 and it has been 4 weeks since the last "incident" between us. Retroville is supposed to open those lines of communication.

C-Bart I know you were scheduled to go in Feb. , what is the status? Is your W still on board?

Going to ask her today. She said she was planning on talking with other couples that have been through the program. She is worried that she is going to be pressured into staying in the M. I tried to reassure her that based on the conversations I've had that's not the case. That being said I'm certain that my opinion means absolutely nothing at this point. Honestly, based on my past way of "dealing" with issue through manipulation and pressure I can't say that I blame her. (Ouch that stung a bit)

IF something stings...you NEED to examine it, usually because there is truth in it.

IF you are thin and I called you fat, it woul dmean nothing and I am just an asshat.

IF You are fat and I called you fat, I'm still an asshat, but your still fat.

Know what I mean?

From what I understand, this is the kind of communication that takes place at Retro and certainly you could probably share with her in a constructive way what it is/was about your W that you were less than happy with.

I am praying for your W to say yes and go, I hope she doesn't back out. You could always tell her that, "I know your mind is made up but if the only thing that comes out of Retro is better communication after D then so be it, but I am hoping to save our M or at least work on it".