I made her cancel plans to take me out for my birthday. W said she realizes I'm going to make this hard. And I said what do you mean. W "well I carried in my own bags and I had to go out to the store last night"
f yea I'm going to make this hard.
If she does not agree to stop communication and transparency then I'm telling her friend and fam what I know.
M=37 W=40 Married=10,T=12 D=10 D=8 WAW Bomb=1/12 EA confirmed=1/13 EA exposed=1/27 Current In house separation
GAL on friday night was interrupted with a "don't come home to late, we need to talk"
i didn't hurry home, but i had stuff to do the next morning so i came home at a reasonable hour.
I reestablished the boundary conversation with her confirming that she will not leave her house. back and forth. finally i said you are bring OM into our home that is extremely disrespectful. she says how, and i, from memory describe a day when she was home with our kids working on school projects and there are multiple texts and one 40 min phone call with him.
she insists this is not the case and starts to get pissed and trying to pull up the account on her laptop. i stand up from a chair to see on her laptop. at that time she yells at me to sit down. I do the calm down i'm just looking at your computer screen. a couple more yells at me then she runs down to hall to boot my computer. i sit down in the chair in her room and wait for her to return, because i have locked my computer and she does not have the password.
more yelling and she stomps back into her room and screams at me to leave. i'm sitting the the chair and she is across the room. she yells it a couple more times while stomping on the floor. i'm waiting on her to stop so i can say my confident "we'll talk about this later, and i'll leave now" when she picks up her phone and with incredible accuracy hits me square in the face. 7 stitches on the lip and 5 more on the eyebrow.
at that point she turns into a emotional wreck. begging and pleading. she gets ice and other supplies to take care of me.
right now she is a emotional drone. not sure what to do. i feel that if i GAL her and keep up the 180s that she might need more professional help then she is getting. she is about the saddest i've ever seen.
no conversations with the kids yet, but she slept in her room last night and i'm sure tonight as well.
any help?
M=37 W=40 Married=10,T=12 D=10 D=8 WAW Bomb=1/12 EA confirmed=1/13 EA exposed=1/27 Current In house separation
you need to file a police report. violence is never acceptable, the consequences of actions must be felt. i believe you must stand up for yourself. you must set a boundary on that behavior as well. you must realize that those behaviors are unattractive and dangerous. you can't control them, but you can enforce a boundary as it relates to how you will be treated
Dane is absolutely right. CALL THE COPS. Totally unacceptable, and you'll need the police report.
btw, you don't WAIT to have the "confident we'll talk about this later" speech; you SAY it. By sitting there quietly, you were tacitly approving of her boorish -- and soon to be violent -- behavior. As SOON as she started screaming at you, or being rude or disrespectful, you should have ended it.
Please file a police report, and take some self-shots (date/time-stamped) of your injuries. Seriously.
I would also suggest keeping a voice-activated recorder around, with fresh batteries and at the ready, in case she gets violent again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic. I'm dead serious about these things. Your wife just handed you some very powerful ammunition. I'm not suggesting you USE it (just yet); just that you STORE it.
so i contact the police. do they contact her? if so how do i deal with that anger sadness when they contact her?
How do you feel with WHOSE anger and sadness, hers??? Dude -- SHE IS CHEATING ON YOU, LYING TO YOU ABOUT IT, AND SHE SMACKED YOU IN THE FACE WITH A CELLPHONE, splitting your lip and your eye and requiring stitches! And you care if she gets "angry" or "sad" if the police contact her???
it feels bizarre to ignore the story to friends and family.
Then don't. If you haven't cone so already, expose her affair to very close friends and family. If you have, then re-expose if there is new evidence of continued cheating. If asked a direct question by someone, tell them the truth, and when your wife gives you grief about it, tell her "I have decided that I will no longer lie to cover up your affair."
Until you learn to stop operating from a position of "Will it make her angry? How will her reaction make ME feel?", and instead from one of "What is THE RIGHT THING TO DO in this situation? What is the thing that God Himself would have me do, if He were standing right here in front of me?" -- then you will get nowhere.
