Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Not sure if this qualifies as piecing or not...

Hi Trent.

I am in no way a position to be offering marriage advice and haven't read your entire thread. I am just guessing that if your W is have a tough time at work, maybe she is missing the comfort you provide eachother as well.

What if you asked her about it? W, I know you are having a hard time at work. I am too. Could we talk about it?

Or maybe this is something you would bring up at MC?

BTW - Have you been doing your homework?

Heh. You think I'm qualified?



I actually do ask her about her work. It's very stressful right now, as their company has announced a voluntary recall of some of their products. This has brought every crazy person out of the woodwork, and their call volume has doubled.

My job isn't too bad right now -- despite the written warning on Friday, I got quite a bit done on my open customer interactions. My biggest problem with my job is the commute, coupled with the slim prospects of a raise at the next review period (which has little to do with the incident on Friday; we did not get any merit-based pay increase in 2009, and it's not known if there will be one this year either.



I think I have been; is there something that I'm forgetting?

I don't think you are missing anything. I was referencing your above comment from a few weeks ago.

So does W know of your frustrations with work/commute? And I thought my 30 minute drive was bad.

Oh yeah, that homework.

I was asked to write a letter apologizing for an event that happened shortly after the bomb. I have written a draft and emailed it to the MC for comments or suggestions.

She was asked to define some boundaries. That hasn't exactly happened yet, but we have talked some about it. The MC asked us to keep discussing it and we'd talk about it at the next session.

And yes, she knows of my frustration with my commute.

It's been more of an annoyance for me since my friend and co-worker was laid off -- we would carpool together and it make it more tolerable.

Trent, I'm sorry...Just getting caught up. So you TriMet it both ways? Kerry's right. Exercise. MD for meds if necessary.
When things blew up at my house about 15 months ago, I got written up. It was ugly.
With God, all things are possible. We'll talk soon.

I drive partway and take the bus the rest of the way in. It was fairly efficient when I went in with my friend, since I only had to split gas with him.

As for the written warning, I'm not too worried about it. I need to keep my priorities in mind. I told my supervisor that if I had a bad night like that again, I'd just call in for the day or come in late.

I have to do homwork too. A list of little positive actions that I need from H. I will just reprint one of the emails I have sent him the last couple of months. There is a list in everyone of them, or maybe I will print all of them and let him pick one... They are almost the same.

Just wanted to let you know I am reading, I hope things at work get easier or that it gets easier to find something closer to you.
K

Feel free to post your list here; I'd like to see what you came up with.

Borrowing from Hope4luv's thread, our baby steps:

* Started MC two weeks ago
* Wife seems to be a little more comfortable at home
* Wife engages in conversation, wants to spend time with me (even if it's just watching TV on the couch together)
* Wife is willing to do vaguely date-like things; go to a movie, go out to lunch, dinner, etc.
* Accepting physical affection -- hugs, kisses, etc.
* I've been better about communicating with her about things -- my day, running errands, etc.
* She's engaging more with other friends -- started walking in the mornings again with our neighbor, spent the afternoon with another friend, etc.