Well I got an email with no return address telling me to check the Facebook account of a name that is my wah middle name and the ow in the Uk's name with man behind it and apparently this relationship I found out about last May is still going strong. I feel like such a fool and alot of things have become crystal clear. I tm him about it and of course he said it wasn't him. When will he just tell the truth? I don't know how much pain I can go thru. It amazes me that I lost my husband of 10 years to a ow that he has never seen in person. He hasn't been gone in the evening and he has never been to the UK. How sad is that.
All cheaters lie. He will continue to lie to you about it so don't expect otherwise.
Notice that when you first said you were leaving he immediately wanted to work on things to keep you. When you relented he went back to his old ways and eventually decided to leave.
Stop pursuing. Stop trying to reason with him or convince him of anything. It doesn't work. Do what works.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I am feeling so desperate here. I can't sleep,or eat. My husband was truly the sweetest person and I never would have believed this if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. I just want this pain to go away. The mornings are the worse I wake up and immediately start crying. My eyes are all swollen and I look like he11. I know this will go away eventually. I have so many questions but I know I will never get an honest answer, therefore I wont even bother asking them.
Well I guess it is over..(man my wah moves fast). He called today and told me he was filing. I am fine with that as I realize I would have a hard time trusting him. I am going to get thru this pain and let go. I asked him to limit his contact to me and to text me if he needed to come here so I could leave. My dad wants to take me to Mexico and I told him that could be arranged. I can't imagine being depressed on a beach with a margarita in my hand. I am still very depressed but have been forcing myself to get up, take a shower, and get out of this house. Had lunch with a friend of 23 years who also was in my wedding. It is nice to spend time with people who care about me. She also is very pro-marriage and told me that things could be fine it just might take time.
The pain will go away slowly, it might come back to haunt us every now and then but it will go away eventually. Once in a while I will ask myself - do I really still want him or am I just used to having him?!
I guess all of us here wish for our S to come to their senses one day and find their way home. Like I said in my own thread - I will definitely be more than happy if we can make it but life is too short for me to wait around him forever! (My cousin is diagnosed with Acute Leukemia recently and is currently undergoing chemotherapy.)
BiBi, Thanks for the support. I know it has to get better because I couldn't feel any worse unless he died. I am sorry to hear about your cousin, I hope that the Chemo will be a success. I agree that life is to short, my adult daughter told me this morning that I am a beautiful wonderful person and I deserve to be happy. That made me feel good, she has been a great support.
I am amazed and find comfort in the strength of the people here.
What your H is going through right now is what I call the "fog". He is not thinking clearly. He has never met this woman but has began an emotional affair with her that makes him feel like she is his "soulmate"....all not true. This is all a fantasy in his head....he has built it to be something it isn't. When the fog clears he will see this. Until then you need to make yourself to be the best person you can be. Marriage takes so much work, and your h has forgotten that. THis "drug" of the ow is very powerful right now...he does truly believe he never loved you....but it is all untrue. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. If you can find a pro marriage individual counselor that would help you right now, as well as talking here. I would avoid talking to your friends about this. You are not alone.
Thanks Soleil and Wdid.. I agree this relationship is nothing but a fantasy with no reponsibilities and probably appears real to him. This woman knows he is married and doesn't seem to care. What I am blowed over by is she has 4 kids under the age of 16 and they all had FB pages and were involved in this relationship also (including a 5 and 8 yr old). I am thinking "who as a mother does that"? Well to try to understand it is pointless as my values can't go there. I have not spoke to my wah and dont plan on it. My daughter and her husband are having a baby and today is the ultrasound to find out the baby's sex. My husband is aware of that and can reach out to her if he wants to know. I wil call my MIL as she is very close to my daughter and is excited about the baby. My MIl is unaware of what is going on and has no idea her son has moved out. I also do not feel it is my place to tell her. Haven't set in Mexico dates in stone yet, to be honest I haven't even looked as my head has bee elsewhere. I will Probably look today, I like the Mayan Riviera are and will probably go there.
Thanks for the advice, I feel I am doing alright all things but I still don't have alot of hope that this will work out the way I would have liked it to. I guess I can only control me.
