S4H & Lolal, Thank you for your advice. I believe for me the affair would not be a deal breaker. My H has never done anything like this in the 16 years that I've known him, so I don't feel like he is a habitual cheater like some people I know. If he decided to work on our M, I believe we can work through an affair.
My problem is I'm not sure how long I can wait for the affair to fizzle. I guess I will know when I'm done. But I would like to know what I can do now, that will make him start second guessing being with the OW.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
mb28, He is definitely having an A, after what your MIL said. There it is done, you know. He is in denial and it trying to accuse you of what he knows he is guilty of. It is his way of dealing with guilt, it is very childlike. Do you ever remember when you were a kid and someone in class did something wrong, break or steal something and then they accuse someone else of the crime to shift the attention away from them.
Originally Posted By: mb28
But I would like to know what I can do now, that will make him start second guessing being with the OW.
You can't make him do or think anything right now. You have to start doing things for you not for him to notice. Show him your strength to handle things w/o him. That does not mean he is relieved of his obligations as a father and the one that moved out. If he has to live with his Mom the rest of his life, that is his problem. As Lolal said, this is going to take a while and as I have said before you are going to need to think in terms of months and yes maybe years. Remember, patience, Patience, PATIENCE is what this is going to take. You have already made progress early on in your sitch but need to keep doing the right things.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Mhl, Thanks for the advice. I can say that I'm pretty sure there is an A. I think I could handle the LRT with him, if he wasn't pushing so hard on the house and divorce.
I'm just going to flat out tell him, that I'm not ready, and that he can do whatever he feels like he has too. Honestly, he is acting like a spoiled little brat. Telling me his homeless because he lives with his parents. I would love to have someone to cook, clean, and do all my laundry for me. And be able to come and go as I please. Oh, but poor him, he is so miserable.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
