1. Get some MCing, with a good counselor that has specific expertise in dealing with healing from infidelity. Also IC for one or both of you, if you can afford it. The recidivism rate for infidelity is very high when specific things aren't put in place and dealt with following an affair.
2. Maintain at least one channel of intel (the "verify" part of "trust, but verify") of which your wife is unaware. Just like a job applicant can always give you 3 references that will make them sound great, and you're wise to independently find others who have worked with them in the past, so too should a betrayed spouse make one or two discreet channels of intel part of their transparency plan.
I wish you good success! I think the Retrouvaille is a great idea.
