I don't like that you are beating yourself up more than anyone! You are too hard on yourself! I think you are the best! And what would I have done if it wasn't for you! Take Care of yourself! And maybe the meds will help control your mood swings. Let us know what happens! I'll be checking in to see your posts! You are on my mind! And know that I CARE! As I'm sure others here feel the same as I!
(((((T2))))) It takes a strong person to recognize thier behavior and ask for help...good for you!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
I'm follwoing LL's lead here and giving myself a good strong talking to. Here it goes:
Okay T2, listen up. I'm tired of your bitchin and moaning about the same old tired junk.
How many times are you gonna whine and carry on about what your H did to you? Okay, so there's no denying that what he did was immoral and horrifically painful but come on...do you have some big magical eraser that you can go back and eradicate what's been done? NO YOU DON'T, so you're left with two choices: (1) keep reliving the damn pain and push your H back into the tunnel, never to show his face again and never open your heart to love and trust again OR (2) accept the damn fact that the damage has been done, you've BOTH learned some very painful and hard lessons and move on!
So you're ticked that he's not saying ILY every 10 minutes? Well ya must have a very short memory because just a few months ago he was telling you HE DIDN'T...so be grateful that he's saying it now EVEN if it isn't as often as you'd like.
Acting 'cool and aloaf' towards H are you just because he isn't crawling around on his knees beggin for your forgiveness? Guess ya forgot that a few months ago YOU were praying he'd forgive you for being the cold hearted wench that convinced him you'd stopped loving him...REMEMBER where THAT got you and HIM?
Furious that your H is laying on the couch instead of entertaining you like some circus clown? If my memory serves me correctly, this time last year YOU were laying on that couch crying your eyes out because he was GONE.
You want your H to spill his guts, tell all, throw himself on your mercy? Well give it up...that ain't gonna happen. He's home. YOU DON'T wonder WHERE he is anymore. YOU DON'T wonder WHO he's with anymore, YOU DON'T have to MISS him...he's there, right under your nose and if ya don't stop throwing your constant little pity parties....he ain't gonna hang around forever to be your whipping boy.
He's expressed his remorse for his failures and betrayals in the best way he knows how. He's come home. He's promised to love and honor you and NEVER betray you again. YOU can SEE his love...YOU CAN feel his love. SO get the hell off the poor me tread mill that doesn't get you anywhere.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE NOW...LET GO OF WHAT WAS...GET ON WITH YOUR DAMN LIFE BEFORE THE ONE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HAVE RIGHT NOW...IS GONE
Quote: LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE NOW...LET GO OF WHAT WAS...GET ON WITH YOUR DAMN LIFE BEFORE THE ONE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HAVE RIGHT NOW...IS GONE
Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. T2
felt good thought didn't it?
I know for me, putting myself in line and gettting that little voice out in the open has done me wonders.
our h's are home and yes we do still feel some residual effects of what they did...but for heavens sake if we ever want to feel better we've gotta get off our "pity party treadmills" (lol!) and get our butts in gear and start making ourselves happy and appreciate what we do have!
