Libs, Ithink yes, but that is based on my experience. I saw my h start to reconnect with my animals or the animals reconnect with him so to speak. where they had avoided him they were laying at his feet.
he began to do things for me that he had admonished before. Errands i had to come to town he began to bring out to the house. He stopped calling his apt that he shared with OW home.
The tm's and emails increased. He literally hid in the bathroom to tm me. It was slow process.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I think my H is reconnecting as apoosed to touch and go.
Since christmas he has increased his time here at home with the children to very late into the evening. It then takes him over an hour to get back to his flat. He has been in touch more frequently with my parents and sister. He has let me know he has contacted his brother. Yesterday he rang some old friends of ours, which surprised them.
During his visit yesterday although we didn't talk about relationships or marriage he did tell me a lot of personal stuff about his business that we haven't talked about since he left i.e it is in financial trouble.
He seemed relaxed, eyes twinkling and laughed at something I said which is also knew.
OW doesn't seem to text as much and when she does he doesn't answer her. Previously he would have made an excuse to go and find a hole to hide in to return her text.
At this stage I will carry on as I am and watch and wait but it is intersting and I believe steps in the right direction.
libby, In response to your question about the ow still being in the picture when they begin reconnecting. It is possible for the ow to still be there, but not have as much "control/power" over them. At some point the "rose colored glasses" will be removed, but it's a very, very gradual process.
I also want to point out that in some cases the ow remains in the picture right up until the time that they either wake up or want to reconcile. There are a few that return home, reconcile and are still dealing w/the ow. So, it all depends up him, the ow and the relationship that they are in and how the drama will be played out. Unfortunately, you have to sit on the sidelines and live your life as if he will never return for a long while.
Reminding me is very helpful as it is sometimes hard not to be dragged in to their world. But I am determined to detach as I have worked hard to get to where I am and I don't want to get on the rollercoaster again if I can help it.
H has just left after spending the late afternoon and evening with the kids.
He looks grey and drawn again and he is def more sad and miserable.
A text came in which he read and did a lot of sighing as in lacking tolerance! Judging by the time it would be OW.
On a more positive note he met with one of our old friends this afternoon. So although he continues to reconnect with people he has slipped down the depressed slope again.
