Drew is right...about being truly detached. I'm a work in progress...getting there but by no means 100%. It's hard and for I know it won't happen overnight but each day I work torward moving forward and letting go a little more and more.
For the past eight months W has been the custodial parent. My L said he's never seen lawyers in my county order joint physical custody. They operate under the theory kids need a home base and the other parent gets visitation. He said my options are to work out a joint custody agreement with W or fight for sole custody.
That would be a knock-down drag-out war and I'd need to be prepared.
The moving home thing. Out of the question. I don't want to move home unless I am asked. I want to move on but with the best deal that I can get while keeping good terms with W.
My strategy, if there is one, is to sit down Sunday and ask her what's fair. She's not the type to do research. I'm guessing that she expects me to lay out a plan and then she'll counter it.
Instead, I'm going to let her lay out the plan and see what it is. Then I'm not going to argue or negotiate, I'm going to say, OK, let me look this over and get back to you.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I turned down Sunday night. I sent her an email saying "You caught me off guard. I have plans. I won't be home until 9 p.m. I could pick them up then."
My thoughts are I'm tired of her "offering" me extra nights with the girls so she can go out. I'll take them during the week to help her with work or to accomodate D10's theater stuff.
Last time she pulled it, on Christmas, it was in the back of my mind the entire night.
Sunday, for her to go out, she'll either need to get a baby sitter or leave the girls at her mom's. The girls get bored over there pretty quickly so a SECOND straight night there won't go over well. They'll whine and W needs to deal with it.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I find it hard to believe that a judge, if it gets to that, would think anything less than joint custody would be in the best interest of the children.
M 33 | W 34 | Kids: S4, S3 M: 5/28/05 Bomb: 8/22/09 EA: 8/1/09 | PA 12/26/09 W L: 10/21/09 M L: 11/16/09 | 12/09 to file SA W & Boys Move Out: 3/14/10
And again, I don't know all the details of your sitch, but you hurt your case for joint custody when you moved out. That's why the standard advice here is don't move out.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Sorry CTH, but if anyone out there will go to my sitch and give me some advice I would appreciate hearing from anyone who is willing. Thanks!
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
