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Looney tunes time...

I don't know where or how you stand at this moment. I know you told her you want a D and you don't want to swim in her cesspool anymore.

She's nuts, but maybe this is worth a shot... reply to the above email with the following line:

It's worth a shot. See what comes out of it. We are after all here to bust the D.

BINGO.



For the same reason dogs lick themselves.

LOL, awesome.

Yeah, I thought about this email she sent last night and it doesn't say she'll do whatever it takes to get me back, it says her family. I can't take this back and forth from her anymore. Last week, she presented a very detailed divorce request w/ her terms laid out. Now, after a week of consideration, she changes her mind? This makes me think that she is scared of losing her daughter more than me. As I said before, it seems like she's just talking with no action. I'm still debating if I should reply to her email. She does know what she needs to do, I shouldn't have to tell her again.

Thoughts???

Wait 5-6 hours or so, and then respond "You know what you need to do."

Sorry; I thought that part was clear.

Puppy

AFAW,

Do you really want a D? I don't think so. When you are done, you know it. And, you are NOT done.

Thus, ditto Puppy.

Hello there John,

Great to see you still writing here but sad to see your wife's antics haven't changed.



Sounds to me like a long of hot gas, like a knee jerk reaction because in doing what needs to be done to fix things, she will have to confront many nasty demons which occasioned her behaviour in the first place. And that scares the crap out of her.

and then this:

John,



See?

Body of a grown woman (like my wife) but some skills required to cope with life remain unlearned. I wish you the very best my friend. BTW, my wife had our first child last month and I'm organising a paternity test this week. Always better to know than to believe.

That is a very interesting way of putting my WAW. I did respond finally today to her email and said she knows what she needs to do. Her response was she would go but is tired of living in flux and starting the paperwork for the divorce. So once again, her words are dependent upon her mood. Back and forth, up and down, round and round, upside down...

Started reading Not Just Friends. Pretty interesting I guess. I guess I'm still angry. Does that mean I'm still not detached all the way? My daughter went over to the wife's apartment today and is going to spend the night. Sure is lonely here when she's not around.

I found out that my uncle has cancer yesterday. They have only given him 6-24 months to live dependent on his reaction to treatment. Apparently, the cancer has spread out through most of his body before it was detected. His wife left him last year after 30+ years of marriage. I wonder what that did to his health? I'm sure it didn't help it.



Yep, agreed, although I don't know if she'll actually go and put the effort in to figure things out or just go through the motions in an attempt to get what she wants.

AFWAW, my heart goes out to you mate. I am very sorry to hear that, both for your uncle and for you.



You can be absolutely convinced that his health would have been massively impacted. Divorce and the death of a spouse or child are just about the most devastating emotional experiences a human being can endure.

All studies in the area point to a harmonious marriage being great for one's health, wellbeing and life expectancy (Gottman).



I used to be like your wife in a lot of regards and when my wife first left me had a lot of growing up to do. I was so far up myself and so deep in denial that I literally had to be smashed beyond all recognition before I got a clue. I had no idea a human body could experience so much pain without having occasioned a physical injury - it was hard even to stand up and even my digestive system shut down comlpetely. This is what it took to set me on a path to understand how a good marriage truly functions.

I'll be following you closely AFWAW and sincerely wish you the best.

Sorry for the Hi-Jack...

GH31, it's been awhile but I am still around; moving down the forum list ladder. Check out some my newer posts...wife wants the best of both worlds...and let me know how things are going for you

Well, I've been reading Not Just Friends and there's a chapter that I just got done reading that states that it's important for the spouse that betrayed the other to come clean regarding their affair. Well, I don't think my wife has come clean about her affair(s). She initially told me that she had slept with 4 men and was in love with one. Next, a few months later it was 2 men and when I asked why she had said 4 men before, her response was I just wanted to hurt you and finally, it went to I just slept with one man.

So, I question if I will ever know the truth or if she will ever realize what she has done by changing her story this way. It will be difficult for me to believe her unless there is a no kidding full disclosure of what happened and the names of the other men. I don't think that's unrealistic. I venture to say that she will not do this.

She is supposed to go to counseling tomorrow. Whether she has signed up or not, I don't know as she has not indicated to me one way or another. If she hasn't been truthful with me, will she act in the same manner toward the counselor?

Well, it's been almost a year now and I've come a long way emotionally. I still have my bad days though--usually when my daughter is over at her mom's as I have more time to think. Every time I feel this way I try to find something to do to stay busy and it usually helps.

So, we'll see what tomorrow brings.