She blew me up all nite, I would take every - tenth call or so -By 2 am she was saying " We can start by being friends again, and date and who knows where that will lead" , " I'm only moving out to relieve the pressure I feel so we can start again"
I would be all over the dating if the OM is out of the picture. I would wait a week or so before you bring it up but it is what turned my sitch around. I got served, the Greek moved out then the real DBing began.
Quote:
She sure has all the answers and none at all.
Do you have healthy solutions and can you execute? Lead on.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I hope all of the Newbies go through your posts, great stuff, great turnaround. Now what is your plan for her. Is there hope for her?
Burt
I don't know, I still don't see divorce as the answer but if she is gonna cross another boundary, a well established boundary, than it's her choice!
I'm moving forward with reinforcing that to her and getting a life every chance I get.
No real plans for her and ain't gonna waste my time on it. Like City Girl has said in her posts - I'm moving on with MY PLANS, My cheating,lieng soon to be X W can make her own plans.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
I would be all over the dating if the OM is out of the picture. I would wait a week or so before you bring it up but it is what turned my sitch around. I got served, the Greek moved out then the real DBing began.
Cheers
Coach,
She is crossing a well established boundary here.
So, last time we seperated and I made the same suggestion about dating to her, she went out with OM. Now it's her idea and I should comply?
I appreciate every post you and Greek have made but i don't understand, I thought boundaries were boundaries and consequences are consequences - Please explain.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
I would be all over the dating if the OM is out of the picture. I would wait a week or so before you bring it up but it is what turned my sitch around. I got served, the Greek moved out then the real DBing began.
Cheers
Coach,
She is crossing a well established boundary here.
So, last time we seperated and I made the same suggestion about dating to her, she went out with OM. Now it's her idea and I should comply?
I appreciate every post you and Greek have made but i don't understand, I thought boundaries were boundaries and consequences are consequences - Please explain.
I believe he said, ifOM were out of the picture. Once she doesn't stick to that, like last time, THEN the consequence (no more dating you) would kick in.
What's the boundary being crossed now? She feels different now because of how you have been acting.
Before you were pursuing with the dating, now if she wants to date then you lead. When, where, how, why and what. You show up second, leave first, pick the place, show up looking and smelling great, you lead the conversation, and take charge of the follow-up.
Boundaries are about behavior, if she stops doing the behavior that is out of bounds then what is her incentive to change? You can't be in a relationship without compassion and forgiveness. Maybe you are not ready to start dating? Have your goals changed since you showed up here? Think thru where you are and what you want.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
