FIL showed up today, he had been calling me and asking me why it had been 2 yrs since he'd been to our place why his daughter had not returned his calls in monthes, I said come on out and I'll tell you, he did.
He is a good man, solid now, not so in the past, but that was long ago.
She freaked, I was working out and she demanded get home. I complied and when he started he hit on some very sensitive subjects, I was forthright told him where I screwed up and told him I made what corrections I could. The rest was history I couldn't do anything about it. I felt compeled to - I asked his permission, before I asked her, I told him I would never hurt her and that weighed heavy on my heart.
He than turned to W and said " Is that correct?'
She said " Yes, he is very wonderful now"
He said " Than you need to let go and forgive, is there anything you'd like to say about your burdens?!!!"
I'm tinking OMG- " She said - I'm just tired"
Later i asked her why she couldn't come clean - she said it was because it was her Dad and she did not want him in her biz. I said he wouldn't judge and that could have been a start if you'd let it.
It's actually been pretty lukewarm since than, FIL talked alot about how our marriage has been so strong and helped the entire family and we were different from the rest and special & something to look up to.
I know she heard it, she has been taking every excuse in the world to call and talk.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
I said "wait a minute " had my notary stamp it and gave it back to server! Than said " No sense in another trip, let her know it was returned immediatelly"
She has texted me 19 times and probaly called 3 times that much since server called her.
The only time I answered was to tell her that I did sign papers and now she does HAVE to move out. I said it nicely but firmly. Than followed with real busy gotta go.
She evidently didn't believe me or care because she has been wearing the old phone out.
I'm GALin' tonite, gonna grab a hotel room. Leave her in her mess alone.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
You did fine. She attempted to manipulate, embarass, control you. You did not take the bait. Good job. Let her stew on what she has done. Great attitude with getting a life.
I got the " It's not you it's me" ,"I'm only doing this to work on myself so than I can work on us". From 4p to 7p.
Than I disappeared into hotel with - The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews - good book, good advice in it. I think it's a great companion to the DB process.
She blew me up all nite, I would take every - tenth call or so -By 2 am she was saying " We can start by being friends again, and date and who knows where that will lead" , " I'm only moving out to relieve the pressure I feel so we can start again"
I said " You made the choice" & "It's your choice" so many times last night, she finally got sick of it and stopped calling.
This morning she asked what I thought of her plan.
I said " I can't wait, I'm kinda starting to embrace this whole freedom thing"
Amazing stuff, WAS in the fog. She sure has all the answers and none at all. O well she made the choice!
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
Bottom line, it sounds like you stole her thunder. She expected one thing, and what she got was the complete opposite. If she were done, she wouldn't have emailed and texted so darn much.
Only change I would have made was not answering the phone more than one more time. Let her swing in the breeze, find out what freedom from your M really means.
Love your attitude! Beware the pull-push she might begin...she's lost her power, so she'll pursue (um, like last night, LOL!), but if you give her any inkling of softening, she'll run away. I can sort of hear her in my head, it sounds like the knights in Monty Python's Holy Grail. Either this one:
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
