Your xh is about as dumb as they come. Here you just asked him if he remarried, then the credit card companies called the same day? So, what did you do? Did you go out on Twitter and tell the world? No...that's just how stupid he is right now.
Who knows, they may have called and she answered the phone. He may have changed his telephone number or put her on the account and she charged something. Stupid man....there are ways the credit card company could get the information.
I think the man doth protest too much. I think the man had an ulterior motive in contacting you today. I realize it's very difficult to let him go, but you have to. He's got to grow up and make his own mistakes in his own time and that includes that "ugly betty" woman he married.
I'm glad you didn't get into it w/him. The less you argue or defend yourself, the better for right now. He's still seeking justification for what he did. Step back, allow him to wallow in his mess.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am glad he got married, he will fall harder and faster.
Sit back, get a drink and watch the show.
I agree with Snodderly. That man is stupid...
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
snodderly Thanks for viiting and posting he is dumb and still trying to blame me The CC companies will get the information they have been trying to call him for 6-8 months now they will go after any lead or relaticve and a spouse is even better I guess it is her debt too??as his new wife..wonder if she was surprized? well none of my Buisiness.. and you are right I need to let go I feel I am in the final stage of grieving I got this far and stopped but with new information and M to OW everything has changed for me and I have to say goodbye Forward I think he is M Trusting Thanks, I keep hoping he will crash but he is like a cockaroach he survives it all and never seems to hit a bollom peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I have a question I asked this before but now I am ready
MY therapist wants me to let XH have every other weekend sleepover at his 1 bedroom apt with his new bride the kids want to be with him more she wants me to have more freedom to pursue other things like spending more time with BF
I spent extra L money preventing xh froim kids meeting OW(Now W) and I didnt trust her or xh for sleepovers
XH would like conciously hurt his kids although he is on prescription meds and was a recovering alcoholic for 20 years I never saw him drink once now I dont know if he has relapsed although these drugs he takes for anxiety are addictive and he is sometimes slurred or sedated
so my therapuist feels I need to let xh have a regular visitation schdule I was trying to protect my kids from further harm as I dont know what their R is like I beleive me letting xh have kids would clear up some anger he is feeling toward me and Now my main goal is to peacefully CO PARENT AND CO-RUN OUR BUSINESS NOT TO RECONCILE please give me your suggestions and what you have experienced with this thanks peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
how old are your kids? do you think he (NOT HER) but HE is a danger to them?
those are the things you need to think about. the other woman- it SUCKS! there is no other word for it....i understand not wanting them to be around her -- does she do things physically/mentally/chemically that would harm your kids?
LET go peace.... let go of him. (and YES I AM TALKING to myself as well!!)
you could always have your kids visit the therapist as well--- that is what i did. and it helped both them and me.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I think I would try a couple sleepovers and see how they go before doing it on a permanent basis.
Peace, sometimes they are very honest about their new spouses and sometimes they aren't. Look at my xh....I've only tricked him a couple of times in 10 years to even admit he's married. He never mentions her when he communicates with me...it's always "I did this, I traveled here or I go here"...never "we".
Let him go. He's no good to you the way he is. After all the ow has given you a gift...she's taking care of him while he's ill. You didn't need that full time in your life or your kids' lives.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Cage thanks for posting My kids are 8 and 14 my 8 year old has severe allergies yesterday xh took them for the day s8 came home wheezing bad and needed many medications to prevent allergic reaction he is allergic to Wheat left to xh alone, im not sure he or OW could handle this he doesnt get many reactions, but I have dealt with them since he was a baby and I know how to handle it with no medicine s8 could wind upo in severe reapiratory distress and ER Snodderly thanks for visiting I know I have to let him go and yes in a way IM glad xh has someone to take care of him or sometimes I think OW is the reason for his downfall
I found this out today: XH is taking several mediacations now he was a recovering alcolholic and was sober 20 years I never saw him drink or take drugs He is in full blown relapse I called the pharmacist and she agreed NO ONE shoulf be taken the combinations off drugs that he is on that explains the sedation and explosions in recovery world of 12 step programs this is a full blown relapse MLC or not xh will have to one day get himself clean again I do not know if he has it in him many addicts will necver get clean once let alone twice so I have this problem, now with the sleepovers I am very skeptical t this poihnt knowing xh is so sedated and drugged I do not know OW or anything of her except she is 28, D, and maybe has a 11 year old s or D so I obvouiouly cant trust her to watch kids my son is healthy but given the wrong food with his allergies, he could get very sick or worse I think I will have to tell xh I made a mistake and I think the kids need to comtinue sleeping here for a bit but he could feel free to take them to his apartment for the day and have them home by 9pm and soon we can do sleepovers IN relapse/addiction confrontations of xh drug use will not work as he is not ready to get clean or he would any suggestions appreciated peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
So, why would you ex think that there is no record of a marriage? The answer is that of course he knows there is a record. You can't legally marry and not have it recorded.
Is he really that stupid, high, drunk....? I guess I don't understand what is to be gained from playing this game of, "yes, I'm married.....no, I'm not married...."
What is to be gained with playing the game of I'm married, I'm not married?" It's called stringing Peace along. A lot of the walkaways will do this. It's keeping one foot in the new pond and one in the old because they do not want to let go of the person they left behind. They want to make sure your are there when they want you and your attention, sympathy, etc.
Peace, step way back and allow his new wife to deal w/him and his health issues. I think you are very wise in not allowing your son to stay over there, especially with his allergies right now. Your xh has to really hit bottom once again and he will not do it as long as he's not facing the consequences of his actions.
Keep the focus on you and your son. You cannot rescue him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
