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LRT is more about emotional darkness.

Call him about a practical matter if you need to, be upbeat, to the point and avoid R or emotional discussion. Don't argue, and YOU end the conversation when you've finished.

Thankyou so much for the reply! I find I am questioning every move I make lately! The people on these boards really know what they are doing! I really thought it that I would be justified to call H. IF for some reason he has kept the rent money for himself, I am wondering what I should say. We have not discussed any financial arrangements. He left a week ago tomorrow.

Family business and finances are too important.

Call him and ask, but stay on topic.

My opinion is call.

Thankyou ME, TrentC and TT...I just needed to hear it from you guys that it would be ok to call...now, to get the butterflies out of my stomach and confidence in my voice!

I called him. I think it went well. I asked H about the rent $ and he said they didn't have it but would maybe have a little today (i refrained from asking WHY he couldn't call and let me know that). H said that S14 had left a message about his hamster dying but he didn't ask to speak with the kids. He just said to tell them hi. I am disappointed in that but if I am learning correctly from reading these boards, it is not up to me to make sure he talks with the kids??? So, I said I would tell the he said hi and that was all I needed...thanks.

Kids have a snow day today so we plan to put away xmas boxes and clean our bedrooms. D11 wants to have a friend spend the night which is something that H tolerated but not well so here's a 180 for us!!!

Hi CW,

Sounds like you are hanging in there!
I agree that LRT is about emotional darkness. You still need to make sure practical matters of finances are addressed. You can be matter of fact in those conversations.

Keep working on 180's and GALing! Find some fun and joy in life with your kids, with friends... work on YOU!

Thanks RW!!! I would love to get out this weekend if this snow ever stops! I have been having trouble with one of my tires and my SS27 us going to stop by later and change it for me. I hated to ask...that is hard for me to have to ask someone for help! I am just so glad that SS27 and family still want me in their lives. They have 2 little guys, 20mos and 3 and I would be so sad if if it comes to that someday!

You keep on nurturing those relationships with family, it is so important. Something I learned in my sitch is that this is a really important time for you to be/stay connected with people. Maybe get in touch with friendships you have let slide. There are also ways to 180 and GAL without having to go out all the time. I experiemented with different hairstyles and makeup. I also changed a couple of things in the house (re-arranged some furniture, started lighting candles more often etc.) I also did more with the kids. We played board games, watched movies together etc.

Something else that is really important is positive self talk. I picked a couple of phrases to work on my self esteem that I would tell myself over and over again, and it really helped on the dark days. One of my phrases was "I am a fabulous and attractive woman!"

I want to hear what you are going to say to yourself... post it here so you can really work on believing it and we can support you.

*hugs*

Hi RW...Wow! I may have to think a little to come up with a phrase to say to myself. One of my friends/boss who has been very supportive told me that I was "smokin' hot now! :-) I have lost 35bls since August and haven't been in this jean size since highschool so I do feel better about how I look.

My hair has FINALLY grown back enough (from chemo last year) that I can style it but can't do a whole lot with a cut right now. I have been thinking of redoing the master bedroom! Trying to organize and get rid of junk!

The kids and I just got done playing Monopoly and I went bankrupt...go figure!

Was feeling very angry and sad earlier after S14 and I were out in the freezing cold digging for wood! Angry that H is not here to do these things and just sad about everything. But, I took a nice long, hot bubble bath, cried a little and feel much better now!!!

I'll keep working on a phrase!!! Thankyou!