Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? My WAW stuck?

I know I am doing the right thing. She made her choice and instead of working on the issues in our M decided to shack up with another man. That was her choice and I have nothing to do with it. She has to live with that the rest of her life. I really feel sorry for my boys with how their mother is acting.

It is really hard to watch the person I fell in love with and married be so cold, deceptive, and manipulative. I read about the different types of affairs today and I can see her in possible two of them. Both of them actually have good odds at saving the marriage but I can only focus on myself and the boys and move forward.

What is really sad is the man she is having the affair with is really just using her as he is a player. I can't belive she is falling for it since he is still sleeping around with other people while she is so interested in him and to top it off she knows it and he just tells her not to ask about it.

I am at a point now where I just wish she was out of the house. However, I know that won't happen until we have our separation agreement in place.

As of now she still thinks I don't know about the affair. That will come out with the lawyers when there isn't any alimony in my agreement. Right now I have said my peace about not sharing her with another man and got the typical "we are just friends" and "I am not going to admit to something that I am not doing" so in due time I can expose. At this point my lawyer wants me to keep my mouth shut so she can use it as leverage.

CTH,

I heard 5, 7 and 14. However, either way it appears most of us around here fit into the 5 and 14 range. Really sad. I know we contributed to issues in our marriages as did our spouses. Sad how they can just throw it away and the impact on the kids.

I always get the statement that it isn't good for the kids to have their parents married if they don't love each other. My W is one of those people that has never really had a long term relationship because she "falls out of love" and thinks that relationships should be easy and always have the "in love" feeling.

Kemper,

I agree with the keeping your moth shut about the A. Just give her enough rope. She'll do the rest.

My W's parents hated each other, but they never divorced because they couldn't afford it. So my W said she wants a D because she doesn't have those "feelings" for me anymore.

She said she's had doubts since six months. I told her so did I, that was the honeymoon period.

My W has only had two serious relationships. Me and someone back in her early 20s and she only lasted three months.

Basically, she's so introverted and hard to get to know that all the guys she dated stuck around until they got what they wanted and then moved on.

So for a long, long, long time in our marriage she had this fear I'd leave her.

Knowing all of this makes it hard for me to cut the cord and file because deep down I believe she'll realize I was the only willing to dig deep enough to stay with her.

But I don't know if I have the patience it'll take.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll just have to let this play out.