Well I am glad I can help. Considering I have been doing this a long time, I have figured out what works and what doesn't!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
First thank you for taking the time to write this. I'm going to print it off and carry it with me in my purse as a reminder to read when times get tough. I found myself nodding throughout reading say yes! yes! The suggestions were exactly what I needed. People throw out words like boundaries, detach, etc and to someone who like me has never been successful with either I have no idea how to even begin to do them. I've been reading a great book called Boundaries, recommend it to anyone!
I'm also going to share your words with a great friend of mine in a similar situation. What a help you've become for me.
How long were you guys married? Any children? Thank you again you have no idea how much you've helped.
I'm doing pretty good considering, thank you for asking I'm working on getting a townhome. I went and opened a separate savings account. In order to afford this townhome we need to divide our finances and he needs to pay child support. Scary because it's one step closer but my son and I need to get on with life.
I found that was the biggest problem. People were telling me what to do, but not how to do it. In theory, I got the whole detaching thing, but I didn't know how.
Sometimes it is just a matter of finding the little tricks. I found that helped tremendously. But there were other things, certain experiences that also made me sit back and look at the M, and say ohhhh that is what he was talking about. Hmmmm....
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I am on the roller coaster myself. The 28th was the 2 year anniversary of OW so it was a tough day. I know it does not matter but I finally found the last name of the 2nd OW so that made me a little proud of myself. I hated this stranger knowing secret parts of my life when I did not even know her last name. I am determined to stay in the house until my youngest graduates (he is a sophomore). I am working on getting as many bills paid off as possible.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
It's tough, ya know I think we all have our good days and bad. Think it's natural. Some days I feel good and then I'll hear a song or think of something or my son will ask questions that break my heart and then my mind sits and stirs.
Well I'm glad you were able to get that information ...if only for peace of mind. So you're H left and you're in the house?
You can always email me: nikblondiew@yahoo.com at ANYTIME if you need someone to vent to or write to. I'm here. Chances are I know what you're feeling.
The roller coaster is a tough place to be. I will tell you a little trick I learned when it gets too much.
There is this song by Mercy Me called Word of God. Now, I am not a religious zealout, but when it just gets too much, there is a line in the song that goes "please let me stay and rest in your holiness."
I picture myself climbing into God's lap and just lying there like a baby, and allowing Him to just deal with it instead of me having to.
Or I am on a lake on a floatie, under the sun, just drifting...
Or soaring in the clouds.
Sometimes its about making a picture in your head. The imagination is a wonderful thing, and can really take some of the stress.
And if that doesn't work, I have an imaginary baseball bat that I use to hit the Stupid German in the head with...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Haha on the baseball bat LolaL. I can see a big change in myself this week. Just the decision for myself that I am going to be the fun person I used to be before he broke my heart.
Nik ~ H is still here in the house. He thinks I will forgive him in time. I think his words were...I have already said I am sorry. It will take time but you will forget one day. However, Where this is concerned, I am going to be an elephant! The bad thing is, he is not an evil guy. But I know that I can never trust him again.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Trust is a funny thing. We give it so easily, and then wonder why it hurts so much when it is taken away.
Trust can be re-earned. However, I think that the person who has breached that trust needs to know that "I'm sorry" is a pretty phrase, but in the long run, they have to be able to eat a lot of crow to PROVE that they are sorry. They need to earn the trust back.
I would never say never, Kelly, but your H needs to understand that what he damaged, he must now repair.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I'm going to print it off and carry it with me in my purse as a reminder to read when times get tough. I found myself nodding throughout reading say yes! yes! The suggestions were exactly what I needed. People throw out words like boundaries, detach, etc and to someone who like me has never been successful with either I have no idea how to even begin to do them. I've been reading a great book called Boundaries, recommend it to anyone!