Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? I am a Superfox and I Deserve Better!

Hi sis,
my lower back has been torturing me as well the last few days... and not because of any interesting activities if you know what I mean...

I am off work too!!
love
K

Boo hoooooo.....I'm at work.....not much work to be done though so it's going to be a VERY LONG WEEK.

So, do share, any funny jokes you've heard, more info about te "effen" vodka would be welcome. I've never heard of it. I wonder if our package stores would have it. We have a crazy place here called "World of Beverage" that has literally EVERYTHING. I think I'll give them a call and see if they have it. Sounds right up my alley!

Effen vodka is something I discovered in Beverly Hills/Hollywood on my trip there with my sister for her lawyer convention in 2008. It is imported from Holland, but my sis says that her local Hy Vee grocery store stocks it in their liquor area so it can't be too sophisticated!

Has a cherry flavor, very good with 7Up and a little grenadine...

No good jokes, but I did accidentally expose my kids today. Looking for Dicks Sporting Goods and I typed in dicks.com.... never do that again!!!

Anyway I am sort of sinking a little these days. Just today I gave the attorney the final info he needed to finish my petition. I get the final draft tomorrow. Then it is literally a matter of 2 signatures (me & Dan) and I am divorced...

For some reason it is much more real to me right now....

It is stupid but I swear--I want a divorce ceremony. To get it through my head for real. I want him to stand in front of me and tell me:

1)I don't miss you

2)I don't have regrets or second thoughts

3)I don't want to be your husband now or ever again, and I don't want you to be my wife, now or ever again.

I know, I am stupid. But I just want that image burned into my brain so when I have moments of weakness or 'what if', I can remind myself that it is OVER. I mean obv. it is, as we are getting divorced, right? But I guess I want to be hurt. That makes no sense, I know...



But now it is too weird. He spent the night for Christmas Eve (on the couch). He has called a couple times since I have been on break and talked for no apparent reason, about nothing. And texted me little jokey things teasing me. Tonight I was up running errands in Omaha and he met me and the kids for dinner. That should be great. I mean, I want us to have a great relationship for the kids, so they can see us and not feel like they have totally lost their family unit.

But somehow it doesn't feel right either...

Grr. Blah. Sigh. I am crazy....

OMG!!!!!!!! I'm not even going to 'test' it out to see what it does. I can imagine!

Glad to hear that Effen vodka isn't sophisticated! I'll definitely be looking for it. Maybe a New Year special treat.



Ok, so you know you won't be getting that, but what's stopping you from having your own 'ceremony'? Get a few girlfriends together and make a regular 'do' of it! Get a Divorce Cake , Make yourselves some "so long suckers" (a shot of 1800 followed by Tecate), and watch War of the Roses so you're thankful that things didn't go that way!!!

I know, totally not supportive of the misery was that? I really am, just hoping to put a different spin on it for you.

There is no reason that you and Dan can't have a good R after divorce where the kids are concerned, but I'm going to repeat what I've said before, this kind of togetherness may not be good for the kids. You are keeping an expectation in them that you will get back together. They won't understand that there is a piece of paper that says you are not together any longer. They will stay confused. "Why don't mommy and daddy live together when they have so much fun together all the time?"

Just my opinion?

This is most likely also BBJs problem....

Which is why I almost wish he was saying he couldn't stand to be around me. I mean, not really, that would suck esp. for the kids...but this whole friendy thing is confusing...

I am sorry. You won't get to have that image burned for you. He wouldn't be able to do it. I just wanted my ex to say that our marriage meant something...he can't even talk about it. So I will never get that closure, at least not in the way that I hoped.

I would be glad that you can get along for the kids. I have seen people get divorced and then get back together later. Just saying.

kat

Totally understandable BBJ. You're confused, the kids are confused, Dan is cake eating. Who here is getting what they want? Dan. Should he? He!! NO!

Yeah...the kicker is, his mom called today to see if I liked the Christmas presents she sent in for me...mind you I was just out there last night for supper, first time I had been over in a few months...

As we finished our convo, she asks, "So where are you and Dan? Where do things stand? He doesn't tell us much..."

I told her to talk about it with him. Seriously,they don't even know we are days away from divorce. Sheesh...

(((((BobbiJo)))))

The way I look at it is that I want to be friendly with XW, but I don't want to be her friend. If that makes any sense!

I have the same problems. After spending 7 hours together with W on Christmas my 10-year-old said later she feels like it's all going to work out because we are getting along so well.

I feel like that as well ... it isn't just the kids who are confused.