Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My sitch...long but please indulge me

sounds like a really good plan!

T

Hi T...thanks for the reassurance.

Am I the only LBS that wants his WAW to leave???

^

Anyone with any input...looking for opinions, advice, encouragement...???

My W spent most of the day yesterday packing. I took the initiative to get some boxes of her stuff from the basement and the attic without her asking. My way of "helping" or letting her know I'm OK with her decision. I also started rearranging our bedroom...um, my bedroom.

She joined me watching a movie for an hour or so, some small talk, but nothing more.

Had a hard time sleeping last night...maybe it's starting to hit me. Maybe it was the iced coffee I had at 10pm.

Well, 4 days until W and step D move out. I'm holding up well so far. Took step D to the movies last night w/o W...probably for the last time. W came into my room before she went to bed. Our dog was laying on the bed and she cozied up to him saying "I'm going to miss you too". Not sure if she meant she'll miss him too as well as she'll miss me or she'll miss him as he'll miss her. I know it's silly and splitting hairs, but at least she'll be missing something.

My W has not mentoned D or the paperwork I completed 3 weeks ago. As I said earlier, it's been sitting on my dresser since then and she's yet to fill our her portion. I read somewhere on this site one of the DB coaches mentioned that sometimes when you "co-operate" a little with the D, your lack of resistence can actually lead them to back off. Not sure if that's what happened here or if she's just been preoccupied with the move.

I'm sure you're not the only one looking forward to having some space. My sitch was different, but once BF was out of the house I was much happier. I was able to be comfortable and relaxed in my own space and he was able to see that I was not the cause of all his unhappiness.

And no, it's not giving up on the M at all to want some time apart.

I agree, I think once you showed her you would not fight a divorce it perhaps became less important to pursue. The less you offer things to fight the more she will have to take responsibility for her feelings/actions.

Sounds like you're doing great so far, keep up the good work!

That's what I'm hoping for.

Thanks for checking in and the support!

AAK is right, stick to one thread so people can follow along. It's too confusing and time consuming trying to track down your info.

You may not be getting a lot of feedback because it sounds like you're handling things better than most newbies. Try posting to other people's threads with support/advice/encouragement and ask them to do the same for you.

Re: your other post, I don't have any experience with dealing with addicts/addiction but I don't think you can say it's typical of a WAS. I don't think you can truly know if she has a serious problem or not at this point. Regardless, she has issues that only she can deal with. Giving her space will help her see that she has to own them. Whether or not she chooses to deal with them remains to be seen. She could continue to try to fill that empty space inside with something/someone new and never face her demons. But the choice is hers to make, you cannot fix it for her.

For 4 yrs I was always the one she turned to when she had a problem or something needed fixing...she's on her own now! I'm actually quite relieved about that.