I have been preparing but not believing, she has two cell phones, one for work. one for home. I looked at an unusual message last night. She met him after work she left early.
I didnt say anything, but I intercepted a text from him to her tonight. So I confronted her..
Then I called him.. Man was he surprised. He denied all knowledge. He said I know her shes my "boss"....I told him I knew everything.
He went quiet..and I told him I would talk to him again and hung up.
We has a major talk this evening..I was calm for the most part. I told she should not text or call him whilst in the house, the children were not to come in to contact with him.
For petes sake hes 23.
I also told her to finish the affair and not to bring this home in to any more disrepute. I then asked her what she would like me to do..with my new knowledge.. i.e. tel work, parents etc.....
She went to bed shortly after..saying she had a lot to think about..finish it or spill beans..
I am ok...but what should I do now?
MT
H:38 W:35 D:11 D: 8 Married: 13Yrs ILYBNILWY: 15/11/09 PA discovered and shock and awed 17-12-09
Wow M - seems like she's really in the hot seat and you have the upper hand right now. Stay true to your boundaries! Don't look all upset and torn - be strong (i know it sucks) but you have to.
Boundaries...and YOU
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Well M, Luv is right, for the first time in this sitch, you now have the upper hand, so to speak. It was just over a month ago that I discovered the PA (H's OW also 23 - sucks huh?) What I tried to after that was make my position clear. My position was that I wanted the M, and would help H figure out his issues, work on forgiveness etc. but only if he stoppped the A and cut OW out of his life. I did not give a timeline, some people do. It took my H 3 weeks to decide. During those three weeks, I focused on self care and the kids. I remained firm in my boundaries. I made myself "the better option" by backing off, doing 180's and GALing. OW pressured him during this time, became very demanding and the R self-destructed. I chose not to go the exposure route, but that is a personal decision based on your sitch. I mainly did not do that because my H has a high profile job and we are dependent on the income. If he lost his job (which could have happened due to A happening through work) it would have created much stress for our family.
Stay strong M. She has some tough decisions to make. Whatever she decides, you will be ok.
Well M, Luv is right, for the first time in this sitch, you now have the upper hand, so to speak. It was just over a month ago that I discovered the PA (H's OW also 23 - sucks huh?) What I tried to after that was make my position clear. My position was that I wanted the M, and would help H figure out his issues, work on forgiveness etc. but only if he stoppped the A and cut OW out of his life. I did not give a timeline, some people do. It took my H 3 weeks to decide. During those three weeks, I focused on self care and the kids. I remained firm in my boundaries. I made myself "the better option" by backing off, doing 180's and GALing. OW pressured him during this time, became very demanding and the R self-destructed. I chose not to go the exposure route, but that is a personal decision based on your sitch. I mainly did not do that because my H has a high profile job and we are dependent on the income. If he lost his job (which could have happened due to A happening through work) it would have created much stress for our family.
Stay strong M. She has some tough decisions to make. Whatever she decides, you will be ok.
Wow Rocked - that sucked - so sorry for you but I'm taking notes!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Don't worry about me M. I am in the process of piecing my M back together as H chose to end the A and re-commit. On the roller coaster ride there but doing ok.
Try to take a few deep breaths and calmly plan your next steps. try not to do anything in anger or in reaction. You need to some time to think, and she probably does to. Don't do anything drastic in the meantime.
Things have developed, she told her work and parents about the A, her parents dont know his age.
She wants a D as soon as.
I went out friday, first time with my close friends, That I havent seen in a while, they couldnt get over how I looked. I had my fair share of female admirers...it felt great.
As for the W, she has opened new bank a/c, deleted me from her F/B account...changed all her passwords etc... I can home late yesterday after my night out. I looked at her and all I can feel right now is disgust..
I have made a decision, that right now. I dont want her..that may change...but this girl is not my W. I am now detached.
now I am gal, for the first time ever I am beginnig to live my life and it feels good.
MT
H:38 W:35 D:11 D: 8 Married: 13Yrs ILYBNILWY: 15/11/09 PA discovered and shock and awed 17-12-09
