I just got in and started eating some left over candy from Halloween. I have so much left over that if I limit myself to only one piece per day I may finish the last piece sometime in 2007. It does not seem that there are as many trick or treaters as there use to be.
Anyway time for another post - I had a great day today - but first, just a word about Saturday. No contact at all - sometimes it is good to give the WAS some space. It was a beautiful day so after I finished my laundry, I went for a drive by myself and just enjoyed the day.
This morning I got up and decided to go out again but I thought I might call ex and see if I could bring over something for the puppy that I forgot to leave last week. Really it was a good chance to go over and test the waters. If they were warm then I could stick around for a swim and if they were cold I could go on by myself. I had noticed that my end of the physical touch see saw had been up lately in that I was initiating touch more and more. Well when I got there I had decided to let my end of the physical touch see saw go down and see if she would take up the slack. I could tell that she picked up on the lack of touching and after a few minutes of talking she did just come over and give me a little kiss on the lips. A little later she just started to lightly rub my back. She did offer me a cold soda and we sat on the back porch to talk some. That is when I told her that about 5 or 6 years ago I use to be a member of the Atlanta Zoo and had a yearly pass to the Zoo and that I was going down to the Zoo today and renew it and I asked her if she wanted to go. She did and we went and I bought the yearly pass so we can go back again and again.
Folks — if you want an opportunity for some quality time together (one of the 5 love languages) then the Zoo is the place. Especially if your “date” is exploring her Wild side by setting up her bedroom in the Leopard, Tiger, Lion, Zebra, Giraffe type spread, lamps, etc. She said several times that seeing these animals just made her day. It also gave us plenty of time while walking around the park to talk one on one. Spent all afternoon there and then on the way home we had to stop by Wal-mart to pick up some photos and cough medicine - while she was looking around the pharmacy area I picked up some foot cream and foot lotion as well. We also picked up a roasted chicken and headed to her place. Cut up the chicken and had a slice of bread and glass of milk (really a great meal, one that we have had on many different occasions.) After dinner while resting on the couch and watching America’s Funniest Home Videos, I dug out the foot lotion and gave her a really good foot massage. After a few minutes she returned the favor.
We also discussed a little nicknack that I saw at Wal-Mart and bough for her. She has on several occasions said for me to “bear with me”. My response was usually as if she had said “bare with me” and would be “right here,— Now? And would always get a laugh. Well, in the store we saw a little flowerpot with two bears in it (the whole thing was only 3 inches tall) and written on the pot was “Bear with me. I luv you.” Since we used that phrase so much I had to get it for her. In discussing it after dinner I told her that even though it said I luv you on the pot I had not said that to her because I knew she could not say it back. I shown it to her though.
She said that she knew that I loved her, and in fact she said that she thought that I loved her more after the Divorce that before. I told her that that was not true, that I had always loved her that much, however before the Bomb (pre DBing) I did not know how to show her my love so she could understand it. But since the Bomb I have been reading and studying and learning to show it better. I told her that I had a LOT MORE to learn and that that learning would be a life long project.
She then told me that her doctor wanted her to go on even more medications but that she felt that she really needed to come off all of them. She said that she had a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and that she would tell the doctor that she wanted off the AD’s and to set up a schedule to get her off them as soon as she could. I told her that I would be behind her and support her all the way.
It was then time to go and she walked me to my car. She gave me a big hug and a really good kiss (again one of many through out the day) and thanked me for a great day and again she asked me to please give her a call when I got home to let her know I got home safely.
Wonderful news, Bob. Your sitch looks more promising every day. How I envy your cool head and your patience... I am very hot-headed and the definition of impatience. But you are doing great!
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Bob! You are doing wonderfully! Bear with me, I luv you...so cute! And it's ok now and then to express our love for the aliens...LOL I think your gesture was sweet and romantic and very appropriate.
Supporting her as she tests out her medication needs will be a test....I hope it goes well. She may not like what you may HAVE to tell her if she gets a bit out of sinc. Good luck with that. (I take meds and God knows, I need 'em..am quite up and down when off of them...and took me a long time to accept my need for the meds...and to find the right ones.)
And good for you for taking care of yourself too...drives by yourself...a pass to the zoo which you can share or use alone...great moves!
we seem to be heading in the right direction. I think she sees her AD's and other meds as a barrier to her working on the R. She knows she can not come off ADs cold turkey so she called the Dr. this morning and said she wanted off all meds and to contact her to tell her the safetest way to come off the AD's - Dr. has not called back yet though. I think that that is a positive but I told her it may be rough comming off the ADs. Also told her that if the Dr. does not want to help her to come off meds then to get another Dr., after all, the Dr. is there to do what is best for patient, not to be a pill pusher.
She will need everybodys prayers. She has my support.
One thing you have overlooked Bob: it is possible that she may need the ADs still and her feeling better is due to the pills. She needs to make sure the doctor evaluates her thoroughly before starting to experiment with tapering the ADs off. It usually takes weeks for the effects of the lower doses to show. So both of you are going to have to take it slowly.
But I am glad that she is feeling so much better that she is even considering getting off them.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Things are diffently heading in the right direction! I'll be here cheering you on!
I agree with op~make sure she does what is best, her feeling better might have something to do with the meds. So she doesn't want to end up undoing the good. If she is not happy with a doctor by all means seek anothers opinion!
