Journaling - - - - Well - the good time we had after the final hearing was not a fluke. We got together again this weekend. I called her early Saturday morning and said it would be a really nice day and asked if she wanted to go on a drive with me to the mountains since we did not get a chance to go Tuesday. She said she was babysitting her niece (3) til noon but had no plans after. I asked how Niece was and she said very active, as always. She said I could come over right then if I wanted to and see her some.
I went over and she had breakfast ready for me when I got there. We both played with niece, took some pictures (I am trying to keep my digital camera with me at all times, and it is coming in handy). Around 10:30 or so she calls sister and said that I was there and she and I wanted to go on a drive and asked if she could pick up Niece earlier - Her BIL came over and picked up Niece around 11:30 and we got ready and left.
We stopped by a fast food place and got an order of wings and then headed toward a small town called Helen, Ga ( a town that has lots of gift and crafts shops and does an annual thing called Oktoberfest ) however, due to lots of traffic going there as well we turned around and went down a side road that lead to some rental cabins and on the way found a small quaint suspension foot bridge over a small stream and stop and take some photos of each other. We continued on and eventually ended up on the other side of Helen but traffic there was real bad too. We went through a small gift shop that was right where the traffic was starting and got someone there to take a photo of us by a big waterwheel. We then drove on north and after stopping at another small gift shop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere we ended up by a big lake and walked out on a deck and sat down for awhile - since there were no benches I sat down in the middle of the deck and she laid down and put her head on my leg as a pillow. This put me looking right down at her face and I gently stroked her hair and face. She closed her eyes and just looked like she had no worries in the world. I bent over and gave her one of our many kisses of the day and, like the other times she kissed me back.
We finally drove on and ended up at a steak place that she likes to go to when she is in North Ga. and had a very good meal. And headed back toward Helen. This time traffic was not as bad and we got into town just around dark. Lots of people milling around and we went straight to a place where they do the horse and carriage rides around town. With it just turning dark and kinda nippy and sitting in the back of a carriage listening to the jingle bells on the horse as he walked along we both kinda just naturally cuddled into each other and as we went through town we had several more of our many kisses and hugs of the day. After the ride we walked through several of the shops and we found a perfect Birthday gift for her DIL, a painted glass picture of a light house. I offered to go in with her on it as I still considered her family and she let me. By the time we finished window shopping and after the drive home it was after 10pm and just before we got home she asked me if I wanted to stay the night in the guest room. I did not have any overnight things but I said I would love to and that I would love to make her coffee again in the morning.
The next morning after coffee we went to breakfast and then went to a department store to get a birthday card and some other misc items. While we were talking on the way home she asked me if I would like to go with her to give DIL the Birthday present. And I said I really would. When we got to her place she called DIL to find out when would be a good time and settled on Noon. Since it was already 10:30 I just stayed there til time to go over. When we went she asked me to hold back on the touching and hugging and kissing while over there as it might give her S and DIL a confusing signal. But while there she eagerly told them of our day together on Saturday, although she did leave out the hugging and kissing part she obviously seemed very happy in talking about our day.
After we left we stopped for lunch and talked about the last 30 hours or so. She did note that I was a lot more physically responsive and wondered if I noticed if the Testosterone treatments were having an effect. Without going into as much detail here as I did with her I let her know that a big effect was an understatement. She was surprised at my response.
As we were finishing lunch and getting ready to each go home she thanked me again for all the hugging, kissing, back and neck rubs, and just general pampering. And stated that before she did not really know if she could handle that. As she was getting into her car to go she turned and, and not waiting for me to start the hug, gave me a really big hug and a great kiss and again thanked me for a wonderful weekend.
Over the weekend she still never said ILY and stated that she still had an issue to resolve. She stated that she was now very angry, not necessarily at me but just in general in that the marriage did not work. However she said she was working on that feeling and just needed time to work things out. However, She did talk a lot about possible future plans for weekend getaways together, she said she still was not ready for the B&B though, but then that is not quite a month away yet and lots can change by then.
Well - things are looking up - from the tone of the weekend I felt that she really had a good time with lots of quality time between us - especially the carriage ride in Helen. However, no time to rest - need to keep DBing with focus and also working on myself to continue to become the man she wants to come back to.
more journaling - not much IM yesterday but around 8 last night she called and we talked for about an hour. She stated the conversation with the fact that our male puppy (I guess in puppy years he would be 15) was humping a huge teddy bear she keeps in her living room and wanted to know if it was normal. She said he was taking after me with my testosterone supplements and all. With a nice laugh she said I could borrow the teddy bear if I wanted to. Our conversation then kinda stayed on the semi sexy theme for the whole call.
Also noted that she and I were both drinking a Cosmo. (Her favorite mixed drink). She had previously kinda invited herself over to my apartment this Wednesday night for me to cook her dinner and so I bought the supplies to make her a cosmopolitan and I had wanted to mixed one up to make sure I had the recipe right. The recipe made two drinks and I was halfway through my first one when she called, so we did a toast over the phone (although, I do not remember what we toasted) She asked if it was ok to move the dinner up to tonight as her girlfriend wanted her to go to a girls night out play on Wednesday and I said that would be great. She also asked about the large suite case which she would need for her upcoming Sister trip cruise. I said I had one over here but I really did not know if it was hers or mine. She said that they were ours. (A Good way of Thinking on her part) I had previously told her that she was a really sexy lady and she should start wearing some of her sexy underwear again, even if she had no plans for anyone to see them. Told her that she would know that she was wearing them and that would make her feel sexy and confident and that feeling would project to others around her. Said she went shopping and stopped by the sexy underwear section and looked for some new ones, but did not get anything. Told her it was a step in the right direction.
We also talked about possible cruise between Christmas and New Years which she had previously hinted at going on and she did not say she would not be able to go by then and even said she would look for a good bargain like the one she found for the sister trip. We both said we wanted a cabin like the one we had on our first cruise. She also talked about her decision she had made on the merger of her business and that she did not want to do that but had come up with an alternative solution. I told that her decision was a good one and I was proud of her for making it. Talked about getting my stuff out and she said that that was not a happy thing to think about and thanked me for doing it and I said that that is what she wanted and that if things turned abound that we could put them back one day.
I remember that over the last weekend she had said that she was feeling like a highschooler again. And I told her that that is the way I was feeling again too. I hope that last weekend and tonight can give her the feeling that she enjoys my company and can help her unload that stored up anger she said she still has so she can really start to help me tear down that brick wall.
all please wish me luck on the dinner tonight. Been awhile since I cooked anything other than a tv dinner or a can of soup so I will need it.
Thanks - came home during lunch and did some preliminary stuff - marinated the steaks, Boiled eggs for salad, cut up onions for carrots, and tomatoes for salad, set table cleaned up some, set out other ingredients I will need later - I will not have much time to fix everything as she will be here just after I get home from work. but it should go together ok
Thanks for your support - I will update either tonight (or if she is still here, tomorrow sometime. In this case--no news is good news.
Thanks all - I am hoping that I can cook her breakfast too.
There is another positive that just happend - we have been doing some IM off and on throughout the day and around 2:30 or 3 she changed the photo she had had on IM for almost 2 months. Changed it to one she had used just after we got our puppy around June. She asked me if I liked the photo and said yes and noted that Buster had really grown since then. Within the next hour while I was seeing a client I looked over and noted that I had left the IM on my screen and saw that she had changed the photo again. This time it was changed to one that I took of her last week in front of the movie hous. I had given her a copy on a disk that I had named the photo, "my favorite.
When the client left I sent an IM that said she had changed the photo again and she sent back a wink smily face. Since I took the photo I had let her know several times that that photo was one that I liked very much and when she put it on the IM, to say it boosted my PMA would be a vast understatement.
I mean the food and wine menu, of course... 
