well, I was stupid last night. Brought D to dance which is every Tues and Thurs and then went to drop off her school stuff at ex's house, he wasn't home and he had his phone bill out. I really, really wanted to look at it, but didn't, but d's school stuff away, went to the bathroom, let dogs out and then I couldn't stand it anymore and looked at the bill and saw that he had called his tenant once in Oct and only talked 1 min and again in Nov for one min. he called on 10-28 so I figured he was asking about the rent but in Nov he called her on 11-25 which is Tues, when nobody is there and d is at dance and I know he couldn't call on thurs due to turkey day. but he had friday off from work, so he could of called her then. I just got crazy. Actually, I'm crazy now!! I know that he had asked her out before, so now I see her # and go crazy. Our therpist who was so stupid told me in a session with me that he had an interest in her. She told me that like when we first divorced. I know I have to stop this!!! But I can't I only want him to be with me. once I found out that he asked her out, I went to her apt crying like a mad woman telling her how much I loved him and wanted to get back with him and she told me that they are just friends. I never pictured myself as the jealous type, but I guess I am.
Yes that was stupid, very stupid, you may find that he changes the locks on the door now. But what is done is done. You cannot force him to fall in love with you, and you cannot control his actions, only yours. Be the person he wants to be with, not some jealous control freak that only wants things her way. Now go and be that person he fell in love with.
Well, I think I got a good sign. EX called me at work, He is not allowed to use the phone, they took his phone away that was in his office. So he has to sneak somewhere to call and he called me at work to ask me if I could call the eye dr. because yesterday there was a message on the machine tht he didn't understand. I said sure. Funny thing is, I am seeing him tonight after I drop our D to dance and it's his insurance, he has the # to the dr.s office, since he had to sneak this call anyway, why didn't he just call himself? of wait the 4 hours until we see eachother after dance class??? So I don't think I blew it. I just hope he is not doing all this just because of our daughter, cuase that would really bite for me and our daughter!
